from the book of dan

#677

2011-12-25T19:23:00.005-09:00

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Yup. Humbug.

Just enjoyed a nice evening walk. 37f / 2.7c Glass of Bulleit in my hand. I was literally laughing at the novelty of an inflatable Santa standing next to a Frostie of the same stature, when, all off a sudden, the lights faded. Santa fell to his nylon knees while Frostie melted like a sail dropped of the wind. That's what it's become.

Novelty.

People fighting and trampling for shiny shit. Crap made on the other side of the world by people who don't give a fuck about you. They don't hate you, but they care for you as much as the stoner droppin' empanadas at the local Taco Bell. Just your average everyday complete and total indifference.

Fuckin' Air Jordans. Hey Mike, you cool with that? Puttin' your NAME on something people punch and kick and bleed for? You are either truly sad and disappointed, or you are a dick. I don't know. Honestly, I carry an average everyday complete and total indifference when it comes to you. No offense, I guess. If you find it offensive, I don't care.

Yeah, people knocking a door off the hinges for patten leather basketball shoes that are technologically obsolete, yet cost more than current high performance footwear.

Just stupid. Santa Claus is dead and nobody really remembers Jesus.

I say we start a new holiday. Merry What-Ever-You-Wanna-Celebrate Day. Let's make it the first weekend after New Years. Find or start a party. Don't come to mine. That way, there's always a weekend party for those years when X-Mass and New Years fall on Wednesday's. Nobody really wants to throw down on a Wednesday. Gatta have that weekend slot.

There, done. Start planning.

I am beginning to see more and more people do nice things, but it is still so far in its infancy. From assembled volunteers all the way to the random high five from a stranger that lifts the spirits of a lonely soul, there is more now than there used to be... but it still ain't enough.

It's not revolution that is needed. No, its evolution. I still remember getting happy about the extra long coiled phone cord for the kitchen (which is where the only phone in the house was). Then, remember when you could turn off the phone so it wouldn't interrupt your modem? I have an iPhone. With it, I can - right now - call a random international number and speak with someone anywhere in the world that has a cell phone, or land line for that matter. Then we can exchange images in real time, and Skype shortly after.

We are on the cusp of the technological revolution. As soon as humans began to smelt, the industrial revolution began. Now, look how far we've come in such a short time, and it's only getting faster. Airplanes didn't exist at all when you grandmother's grandmother was a teenager.

-side note-

Oil and coal still keep us there, simple because we haven't built an array of turbines/solar/hydro/new tech/etc, that can handle what we currently consume.

well... that will change shortly.

Whether we run out of oil or kill a shit ton of ourselves with war, the the current volume dependency will wain one way or another.

I digress.

This is a time where I could shoot video right now, and have it up for the entire world to see in a matter of minutes. Technology is becoming the accountability tool of the masses, and not just against governments. People video so many things, we've no choice but to be honest with ourselves and tolerant with others. The world is going to force everyone to be cool about it whether we like it or not.

...and that is evolution.

A fifteen year old is more connected with the world right now than ever. That child is learning about accountability. They are seeing how others are doing wrong. They understand oppression, for what it is in all of its forms. They see it. They hear it. They are growing up experiencing first hand, not learning from a book compiled from story's of those who journal the events. When there was unrest, riots, mobs, and revolutions, it was days before the world knew what was going on. Never mind the fact that the information was coming from just s few sources. Now, you get to watch the youtube video of the girl in the blue bra within an hour of it happening. There is no editing, filtering, time. You might as well be standing right there, powerless to do anything to help her.

The images of pepper spray. The videos of police assaulting protesters. The videos of the Black Block attacking police. It's there. You get a certain feeling when you see those.

That feeling is called empathy.

Empathy is the slayer of tyranny.

#676

2011-12-05T19:10:00.013-09:00

Don't really know about his policies, ideals, and theories, but I know he can call some people out. I can only imagine if Carlin was here to see it. Hicks, sure. ...but Carlin's take on this shit would be out of this world.

I do think he would be better received with an occasional "fuck" or "cock sucker" every once in a while. Kinda gets the juices flowin'. Gives a little down home passion. How cool would it be if in one of the debates he looked at Gingrich and said, "How about all that tax money you took from the American people? Or was that Fanny Mack and Freddie Mai? Newt, you're a fucking cock sucker."

That would be some funny shit. ...but I guess this is all we get, and it is, in fact, pure comedy.

still wish he had said cock sucker... just once.

This got me thinking about some stupid video of some douche crying about cutting himself. Throw a punch you nancy. Shit. Sure, I feel sorry for the kid, but after years of being picked on? At what point do you finally decide you don't care if you get your ass beat, you're gunna punch that fucker ringht between the eyes next time he utters a word at you, because he absolutely deserves it.

Am I alone here? Look, we all have been picked on. All of us. We all pick our noses and beat off too. That's reality. Maybe it only happened once or twice, but everyone has been fucked with at some point and you pussed out and walked away when you didn't want to. But hell, what will it take to toughen this dude up? That's where it needs to start.

You've seen this image. The question that comes to mind now is, the police said they resorted to pepper spray because they felt they were surrounded. They were. But they were surrounded by spectators, not people really wanting freedom. Not people willing to fight for freedom. If those people were going to do something, and there was more than enough of them to do it, they would have subdued Officer Pike, as well as held back all the other police until everyone calmed down. ...even if it took a couple days.

They are afraid. They've been bullied and not fought back every time. They don't even run. It would be like a lion king being killed by a rhinoceros while his pride stood by and watched, casually. As casually as watching your neighbor water his flower garden. They are spectators.

Take a fucking punch. Seriously. Then shit will change. These thugs are still a little human. Check the chick second from the left.

Yeah. She's is holding back. She wants to belly laugh in that Storm Trooper suit until it shakes right off. That muther fucker has his ass feet from her face, just on the other side of the barbed intimidation fence. He don't give a fuck, and that is funny. ...and she knows it.

(picks snagged from here. you should check them out. link cred: ian)

#675

2011-04-17T19:37:00.004-08:00

Who's to say this all hasn't happened before?

The time since the last ice age is said to be 20,000 years ago. With that in mind, we don't have any solid record of history at all, in any shape or form, from 6000 years ago and before. None. Dinosaurs became extinct 65,000,000 years ago, cuz we have a few fossils and bones and shit. How many ice ages did they go through?

What if the earth's elliptical orbit was actually growing in average diameter by say, one centimeter per hundred years? If earth has completed billions of laps around the sun, while the sun pulses - changing the actually distance from the surface, never mind that it is growing - how long would it take to spin out of control and be sling-shotted into deep space? We don't have the technology to know yet. We didn't have public cellular phones forty years ago. People did not believe we could fly a hundred and fifty years ago. It was thought preposterous. Three hundred years ago you'd be a witch, and they would kill your ass.

So what am I getting at...

What if for the last few million years, humans get to a level of technology the same as where we are today? ...in between ice ages of course. Some make it much farther than we, and some not so much. If there is one thing we know the powers that be are good at, it's keeping secrets. Who's to say there wasn't some satellite from before the last ice age that was still spinnin' around the old blue planet. Could be that's how a lot of this technology came so quickly, because seriously, flying was easy. No one took the time to look. They were bicycle builders in Ohio that were probably on a long bicycle ride and just started looking at how birds were able to fly.

I digress.

How about oil? How do we know that the huge deposits won't refill in 40,000 years if we stopped pumping today? We don't. We've only used oil pumped out of the ground for a hundred years or so. Hell, no one used it three hundred years ago. We have no idea what the next fuel du jour will be, but it won't be oil based. Keep in mind, we've known of electricity for less than 500 years, and at that time, land with oil seeping out of it was crap.

Look at Route 66. It was THE way across the Midwest to California. There are parts of it now that are dirt, and rutted, and crappy, and terrible. Look at how cheaply structures have become. Everything is made cheap compared to years ago. When someone built a home out of stone 500 years ago, that mother fucker was meant to last. Now we use stone facing, cheap pine studs, and chalk between two pieces of paper. How many stone structure out west has lived through a hundred years of tornado's? How many trailer parks? Cheap. Shit will just fall apart if un-kept for twenty years. Want proof? Look at Detroit. When the Romans built their roads and buildings, they made them to last. However, they wouldn't last an ice age.

Let me remind you, the last ice age ended 20,000 years ago, 400 times the amount of time we have actual recorded history, and there have been many before. We think we know about the ice ages of the last 650,000 years, which is 130,000 times the amount of actual recorded history and one tenth of the time until the dinosaurs strolled around.

We don't know shit.

Like I said, who's to say this hasn't happened before?

Science says the first human to wander from home and populate the earth came from central Africa. That would be a fun place to be during an ice age, don'tcha think? As beautiful as the Appalachian Mountains can be in winter, you won't find me there hangin' out under a glacier. No one is living in that. Now how do you grow all this damn food to feed all these people when half of the Northern Hemisphere is under fifty feet of ice? You don't. That's when a bunch of people get really hungry, then they go away.

How do we know that after each ice age, the natives don't get cabin fever and start moseying off to other lands for new adventures?

...and every once in a while, when they get just enough time, they invent ipads.

been thinkin...

2011-02-27T20:43:00.001-09:00

this morning sucked.

this evening is almost a polar opposite.

#674

2011-02-13T18:32:00.002-09:00

If there is one thing I can not stand, it is bullshit. Over the last week or so, I have been dealt more bullshit than usual. This culminated into Valentine's Day, which is probably one of the biggest rackets of bullshit around.

Fuck you Valentine's Day. I do not need to show my love to my wife any more today than I do any other day. If I didn't love her, I'd be fuckin' gone. I promise. ...and if she didn't love me, ditto.

Now, let's go back in time and touch on a couple things without divulging the retard culprits. My hope is that you will learn from their errors, before you learn the hard way like they did.

If you are in line, you are not in charge. You are in line to meet with the person that is actually in charge. Giving orders just pisses everyone else off... because they are in the same line as you waiting to meet the person in charge. You are not them.

When in Rome, follow the rules or you will be thrown to the lions. Rome doesn't give a shit about you. ...and when Rome tells you that contrary to your beliefs you are not special, don't tell them you are Germanic with an expectation things will change for the better. They won't.

Nobody really cares what you do for a living any more than you care what they do. Trust me. Keep this in mind when meeting someone for the first time. It could save you.

Just a couple of things to think about while tumbling toward your end. Let's work together to not make it any more troublesome than it needs to be. Thank you.

#673

2011-02-04T07:05:00.007-09:00

Been out of town and drunk for three days straight. Now that I am sober enough to peck out yet another attempt at opening eyes, I would like to preface this blug entry by asking that before you fire off a comment without taking the time to actually read and process what I am trying to say, read the post again, slowly, with no preconceived ideas or ideals. Then again, you could shove another piece of cake in your noise hole and move on to something that you have the capacity to understand, like Fraggle Rock.

Here we go...

The Prez just told you what to do if you are sick of all the bullshit.

All those people who sat back when he became Prez thinking the world will just magically turn into Happy Fuckin' Fun Land cuz Hope and Change landed in the White House need to look in the mirror and see what is actually happening. (the wife and I actually saw a lady on TV say that with Obama in the White House, she won't have to worry about her mortgage) You can't sit on your ass and expect the Prez, who at most only has eight years to fix shit, no way dude, YOU gatta get off YOUR lazy ass and do something about it.

You think for a second Obama doesn't know how this works? Politicians are bought and sold by the giant corporations and they (the corporations) are making the choices. Do you know what lobbying is, or how it works? Betcha don't. Google it and start getting an education, as apposed to hours of lottery/reality TV where you can laugh at some idiot for standing up in front of a camera while thinking those late nights at the karaoke bar are paying off with a record contract as soon as they open their mouth. ...and they have you believing you have a place in line. That's where America's Hope and Change lies, not with hard work, perseverance and sacrifice.

Start by turning off your TV, computer and/or cell phone and have a face to face - intimate conversation with another human being without using a fucking keyboard. Sit down and make a plan, and then another in case that one doesn't work out. Then get off your ass and earn it. Give up everything so you can have it all.

You want Hope and Change? Well, the man who brought it to you just told you how to get. Wake up, before America starts to resemble Egypt. Regardless of what you think, they are not having fun.

#672

2011-01-30T18:41:00.002-09:00

Same story as last time, but he fixed the final hole in the plot.

I cocked my head like a confused puppy and began to explain that just the other day, I had been told that exact same story, word for word, in this very same Kroger parking lot. He, of course, being the one who was actually living this anecdote, was shocked and terribly perplexed.

"really? Wow."

"Yeah dude, really. Same exact story."

I thought about offering a ride home so he wouldn't have to bum bus fair, or just asking him to tell the truth. I paused, gave him accolades for addressing the gaping wound in his fable (which proves critical thinking on his part - a good start), and went on my way.

Wouldn't he be grateful for my hospitality if we found ourselves in this exact same scenario yet again, and for an ironic third time? If there's a hat trick, he's getting a ride home.

Kinda wonder what he'll do...

#671

2011-01-26T20:56:00.002-09:00

Egyptian Revolution.

Everyone should be watching this.

Everyone should be learning from this.

The government should watch this.

The government should learn from this.

Eventually, an Egyption police officer will be working a protest, they will get violent, and both police and protesters will be hurt. That's when the police officer will realize he is hurting his neighbor, friend, or relative ...and that is when he will disregard the will of another, and enforce his own morals and ethics. This will domino, and the government will lose by great bloodshed.

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." John F. Kennedy

#670

2011-01-24T20:48:00.004-09:00

When was the last time driving home from work helped you relax after a long, rough day on the job.

Let me paraphrase, just to make it clear.

Being alone while operating a two thousand pound motorized projectile rocketing at speeds upward of eighty miles an hour, all with a simple flick of your big toe, while surrounded by individually sized rail cars that dart erratically like corralled cockroaches.

Keep in mind, a majority of your travel-mates are so dislocated from society they believe chatting on Facebook is meaningful conversation, and are self-impaired well beyond the handicap of being inebriated for the sake of reading a text message about the new season of "So You Think You Can Be A Somebody".

Now, mix in being late and add children to the confines of your capsule along with the anxiety of a coffee cup or Red Bull.

Everyday begins and ends like this no matter the weather, five days a week, fifty weeks a year... twice a day. Day after day this is repeated, five hundred times a year. On average, for thirty miles each way averaging thirty-five miles per hour in start/stop, bumper to bumper congestion.

So to repeat the question, when was the last time the drive helped you wind down?

#669

2011-01-20T18:37:00.006-09:00

I need to start shooting more video. It is so simple with cell phone technology, and I would be able to share so many more things like this.

I poached a seminar this morning; as in I was not invited and I didn't pay, but the coffee wasn't good, so I feel like it was an even trade. It was at a high priced hotel and the valet was happy to check my bike, which was just wonderful. I knew a few people that were going and I wanted to speak to them (it's called efficiency) and the seminar seemed interesting enough as well. I had time, so why not?

I found myself sitting in the back, where I belong, steam still rising from the top of my head as I cooled down from the ride halfway across town while bundled up in the cold. I wondered a few times if I would be stopped and considered a transient, simple because I wasn't wearing a tie... and I probably smelled bad. I knew I looked rough, never mind the Jebadiah beard.

...and then the speaker begins talking about how terribly awful it is to see all this marketing to children by fast food stores. How irresponsible it was for them to tantalize these impressionable souls with shiny plastic Chinese made tokens in order to get them to eat such horrendous food type substances, and how happy he was with the toy ban in fast food children's meals in a place somewhere on the left side. He knew the people that worked on it, and in his mind, they had done God's work. In fact, it seemed as if that was the soul muse of his diatribe this morning. He really cared. Really awful bad he did.

He ended his lecture with an anecdote.

A friend of his, a doctor mind you, was having a birthday party for his young daughter at a local McDonald's, aka: Satan's lead-filled Chinese toy shop. The speaker explained that he just couldn't understand how a doctor of all people would be ok with that, but he did not feel it was the right venue or time for questioning the good doc's motives as a parent. He would wait until later.

He goes on, and explains that before he had the chance to order for his own young daughter, she had taken the liberty to order chicken nuggets and french fries for herself. Once he succumbed to the fact that the order had been placed (yet not paid for) and that his daughter had made a verbal commitment in his name to purchase the items punched in on the teenager's Fisher Price Pictionary register, he resigned and accepted the fact his daughter was destined to consume the foul meal.

He continued that he had questioned his daughter as to why she had chosen the chicken nuggets in an attempt to launch a preemptive strike the next time he was held hostage in this type of situation. She explained that the birthday girl had ordered them and as she, herself, had never had a chicken nugget, she wanted to try them as well.

As the other attendee's ass cheeks clenched the end of their seat cushions, they hung on his every word, cursing the good doctor under their breath for harming his own daughter with chicken nuggets, only to have her classmate follow suit to the disdain of her father. How many children had followed the lead of the birthday girl? How many lives will be impacted? How terrible this may be, as he himself was now just a statistic? Suddenly, the floodgates of fast food hell rained down mechanically separated chicken on the elementary birthday celebration. All hope was lost.

My right fist shot into the air as involuntary as breathing. The air compacted around my hand giving off a brief but audible snap. He looked right at me. I was stuck. I was committed. There was no way out. It was time. I chose my words precisely. I only had one shot, and it was time to leap head first, face down, Aussie style.

"Did she like the chicken nuggets?"

"Yes", he said. "She did."

The room paused, then erupted.

#668

2011-01-16T19:07:00.006-09:00

I read quite a bit online. I find it more efficient than the library, that and the fact they frown on having a six pack of beer when you walk in the door. Never did it, just don't care to try it. We all know they aren't cool with it.

It is beginning to seem that every night when I read the news, it seems as though it is like some sort of silly game of, "How about some Fucked Up Shit?!" Sorry about the add, that's part of the silly game.

Please try and control your rage. Thank you.

So the one thing I not have heard any one single news organization bring up: with the department of Homeland Security asking regular Wal-Mart shopping peoples to "Report Suspicious Activity" (google it, you'll get freaked out), and with all the reports, phone calls, letters, and emails that were complaints - aka reports - about Jared Loughner being some sort of psycho fuck, one of which from his dad, why did no one go and check him out? Uh... have you seen what the dude looks like?

Something is not working in the system. Not sure what, but there has got to be a monkey wrench jammed in some gears somewhere. Seriously.

There are more cops now than there have ever been in the history of America. We have enough to pull this off, trust me. Instead of having them drive around in tinted windowed cars, intimidating SWAT uniforms, and angry faces, how about we try the old blue shirt and captain's hat neighborhood cop. One that literally walks around the neighborhood and is friendly to all the people, including kids. Guess I'm living in the past, when people held themselves accountable. I think it made a difference. Just saying.

By the way, I hope Mrs. Gifford makes it. I hope she makes it back to as close to normal life as possible and that she smiles one day soon. I also hope her very angry husband gets to visit this dude in prison, and that the guards, and the world, look the other way.

#667

2011-01-13T18:48:00.009-09:00

anyone can write a blog.

from wikipedia:
Systematic desensitization is a type of behavioral therapy used in the field of psychology to help effectively overcome phobias and other anxiety disorders.

This process has effectively taken place in America. Think about it. I am almost to the point that I can say I am almost 40 years old. The extreme violence I watched as a child was contained within Looney Toons and Tom and Jerry. The kids now have video games that have been created with the help of Special Forces. Yeah, that's Kobe Bryant. Look at BMX tricks. Doing a back flip now is almost a beginner move, what a tail whip was for us. You learn from your elders when you are younger than they were when they learned.

The News.
Think about how cameras are everywhere, literally. Next time you go into a public restroom, see if some one is texting. If they are, the camera on their phone is working. Seriously, cuz they all have cameras. They are everywhere. Now, you tell me if some amazing news thing happened, it wouldn't have a hundred uploads on youtube and viewed a million times in 24 hours. I'll bet you that somebody has a picture of that shooting and might not even know it.

What am I getting at? We have seen it all. Everything that has ever been recorded has been seen by us as a collective. Watching the Space Shuttle blow up the first time you saw it was almost overwhelming, but seeing it now, the impact is gone. I can prove it. Watch the Trade Center get hit by the first plane. Yeah, still a little rough, but doesn't have the same feeling. Now, I am in now way saying it has no meaning, and that was some really fucked up shit, but it isn't the same because you have seen it before. You were emotionally overwhelmed the first time you saw the film, but it has dimmed because it is nine years later.

The movies of our childhood:
The violence of the original Psycho looks like the Three Stooges compared to SAW, and that's what they had to do in order to keep you coming back and spending money at the movies. TV can almost show Psycho uncut after the evening News, but 30 years ago? No way.

I think society at large has gone through the process of self-inflicted, subconscious, systematic desensitization over the last few centuries, and I do not think this is the first time. That's what's wrong, and always will be, until we wake up to it.

...and we will, eventually. Whether we like it or not, it's inevitable.

Post #666 Hail Satan.

2011-01-10T10:45:00.003-09:00

Yes, this here is the six hundred and sixty sixth post, and lets talk about stupid people and dead people.

House Rep Gifford was shot by a stupid person, who also shot other people. Why, because he thought he could change the world with a bullet.

Sarah Palin is really fucking stupid for using target symbols to denote Rep districts and for tweeting the comment "Don't retreat, RELOAD!" (I also think she is really dumb for retracting/deleting it). I can not imagine that anyone would be stupid enough to stand on a national stage and do these things with the pure intent for people to get hurt and/or killed. However, much like Howard Dean who did something stupid and now where is he, Mrs. Palin will probably fade away in the coming year... maybe.

Now, because this is Satan's post, I would like to offer up this:

Turn off the TV and take 30 minutes away from "So you think you can be somebody" and watch this. Get educated. Wake up to what is going on. Bill Hicks would want you too.

...hopefully you have taken the time to learn from this. If not, whatever... your life. So with that, I'll leave you with this.

meet the new boss, same as the old boss

2010-12-14T07:26:00.004-09:00

influence

Attack of sheer stupidity.

2010-11-29T18:21:00.003-09:00

A reporter from a local television station came into my bicycle shop today and asked if there was anyone willing to be in a news story about the bicycle shop down the road.

I'll leave it at that.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T15:42:00.006-09:00

If aliens visited us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans." Steven Hawking

take it as you will

2010-11-21T17:18:00.003-09:00

...guess I still have a few things to say.

Gunna make some stickers that say "Just be cool about it."

The wife's car took a shit, and $3,000.00 later and hopefully before tuesday, we'll have it back.

The shop that's working on it rocks. They treat me the same way I treat my customers, and whether or not that's good or bad, it's what I want and I'm getting it. Anyway, they were just super cool about it. They asked if it would be ok to give us a brand new rental car for free in order to give them a few more days working on ours to make sure it was correct. (the first shop we took it to missed an obvious oil leak) Awesome. They truly give a shit.

They were just cool about it, which in turn, made me to be cool about it. Then I thought to myself, I should pass this along.

So now you don't have to buy all those "Coexist" and "Peace" bumper stickers so people know you're chill. All the religious ones as well, they can be scraped off the window.

...by the way, a sticker on a car window is not a true commitment to the sticker's prose. no. it's that you don't quite believe in it enough to risk fucking up the paint when you know you'll inevitably lose faith in it. Anyway...

All you have to do is just be cool about it. ...and if the next guy is, then he'll spread it like flames on a hot California day. Muslim, Christian, Republican, Red Neck, Kanye West, George Bush, they too will become cool about it. Then we can begin to have a conversation about global warming, or pandemics, or oil.

You dig? ...now pass it on.

back for a random

2010-11-19T05:05:00.004-09:00

Guess I need to vent a little bit. Technology sucks. Yeah sure, I'm offering up my thoughts to all of Al Gore's internet, for all to see. From Uzbekistan to Cape Horn, anyone with an internet connection or cell phone can see this. Hell, if there are alien beings out there, they can see it too (because if they have the technology to get to it, they surely can translate it).

So technology sucks.

Why?

For all these same reasons. It offers up enough information for people to get a doctorate, but offers zero real world/hands on experience. When it comes to almost anything, everyone is an armchair quarterback. Trust me, it is so frustrating for people to bring a bicycle in because something is broken, only to be interrogated about how to fix it because the customer read about some douche bag some where in the world that had kind of the same issue and it was solved in a different way by an un-named source. Seriously. ...and it's not just bicycle shops.

I can guarantee there are jack-asses out there that question the AC repair guy, car mechanic, or any tradesman that uses years of experience problem solving the same equipment to build skill and real life education. If you didn't know, this is actually offensive to tradesman. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, but you wouldn't second guess a surgeon while he was elbow deep in some one's gut, if the extent of your exposure to open chest surgery is Discovery Channel's web page, no more than you would question the barista on how to pour the foam in your latte.

These people have spent a whole lot of time dedicating themselves to this particular trade, and they should be given, at minimum, enough respect to let them begin working on the job before you start badgering about the finished product because you watched something from one camera angle's point of view.

Yeah, and I'm not done yet. Worry/fear has increased. The wife went to New Orleans for a few days. It's a five and a half hour drive to her parents house from NOLA. I called to check in on her while she was driving. When she didn't answer, and I hadn't heard from her for half an hour, I started getting worried. Stupid, just stupid. If it was just ten years ago, she would have called when she left, and maybe, just maybe, I might get a call from a phone booth long the way, but I wouldn't worry until it had been a solid six or more hours... cuz that's how long it takes to get from NOLA to her parents house. The instant gratification of speaking with some one at your whim is making me crazy.

Now, Facebook. I loath Facebook for so many reasons. Yeah, sure, I got a page. You have to in order to have a business page... and I work the hell out of the business page, because that's business. I do have more than 350 "friends" on Facebook, yet I might speak with 15 or 20 of them on a regular basis. Shit, some I've never had a conversation with beyond maybe a handshake or ridden a bicycle in the same group. There are a few I've never even met in person, never mind those who I haven't seen in years. How then can we really be friends?

Then add the fact that people from your past plow "back into your life" via Facebook. One's and zero's is not how you reconnect after five, ten, twenty years. Remember all that technology? Yeah, pick up the phone. You can't translate emotion, semantics, emphasis, or sarcasm in texts. It is so impersonal. ...and if you have enjoyed your life for the length of time since you last spent time with them, what do you have to lose if it doesn't work out? If you have some sort of void in your life that only this person can fill, why are you hiding everything behind a computer screen? ...and if you are really friends, or had been in the past, what are you afraid of?

Which brings us to email/chat conversations. How easy is it to misunderstand the meaning of an email? I've had arguments with the wife because my email "sounded curt or snappy". Yeah, the email sounded. Text sounds the way you read it. There is a flow to verbal communication that can not be reproduced which carries so many clues to the meaning the person is trying to get across. You can hear a smile. Speed of speech shows excitement. Enunciation and emphasis comes out. A point can be made simply by pausing... but that can not be translated into prose even with three periods after a word. The art of audible communication is dying, and it is taking away from the intimate interactions we need to move forward in life.

I can't remember the last time I read a book. A physical book. I read tons on the internet, but opening a book to page one, seeing how thick it is from cover to cover, feeling the weight, and accomplishing the task of reading every word to the last page and closing it is something I miss. This one has been saved for last because it is the easiest for me to fix, but touches on all the other points. It is much more difficult to read online than it is to sit quietly. You can leave the book open and stop in the middle of a paragraph to click over and see if any one responded to the stupid video of you dog farting that you posted on a "friend's" Facebook page (whom you haven't audibly spoken too in over a year), then check your email, and back to the book. Stupid. By doing that you have killed the flow of the text and prose.

Have you read Rime of the Ancient Mariner? Go do it. Then re-read it but pause at the third stanza of Part VI. Check your email, Facebook, watch a video, then go back and finish. Sucks huh? Yeah, sucks. The flow is dead. The build is dead. It's like stopping right before an orgasm to make sure the cat has been fed. Ruined. You ain't getting that one back and all meaning is lost to interruption.

So, what am I getting at? Well, if I have to explain it, read it again. My expectation is that you are smart enough to figure this one out...

What?

2010-08-19T07:09:00.003-08:00

yeah, been almost a month.

Derf, quick bitching at me and read some DC or AHTBM. Really. We hang out all the time. What are you going to read here you haven't already heard? If you are that bored at work, maybe I need to have a conversation with your boss...

So... been in-sane in the membrane-crazy with the shop. Whoda thunk this thing would be kickin' like it is. I had no expectation. On top of that, the wife and I have been doing some home improvements that take up the rest of my time. I did get to ride my mountain bike for the first time last week (since we opened the shop). ...and luck would have it I got to ride with Ol' DK (don't he look like Les Claypool?).

Riding with DK is the shit. He rides fast as hell, but is totally cool with chillin' too. Speaking of chillin', check the jerseys. Yeah, ride local - buy local. Support your local bike shop and your local brewery. They keep you riding bikes drunk. What more could you ask for?

Last week was the Tomato Art Fest, so we had a bike trials demo. Check out the photo from Mr. Bloebaum...

You'd think I could actually ride with his photo skills. Sure, I made it up on that box, rode to the other side and jumped off, but that's my only trick - and it ain't special. Thanks to Doug and Fam, Mike and John for coming out.

Lastly, I want to give a hootin-and-a-holler to Sharp and fam, STELLA! was born earl-eye in the morn wednesday. Good to know there will be another child growing up under the influence of all of us - which makes certain there will be at least one less complete blubbering idiot in our future. Makes me kinda feel warm and fuzzy inside, then again, might be the never washed water bottle I was drinking from this morning. If I puke, I post a pic.

That's it. I'm out. Go read a book. If you need more, stalk me on facebook. No link, if you aren't smart enough to find it, you ain't smart enough to keep up.

Love Shove

2010-07-27T19:23:00.002-08:00

We'll get to that in a minute.

Spent all most all day on the bike, including almost an hour once the sun went down. This morning started off easy enough, ride to the AT&T store to get a new cell phone. Mine is currently in it's death throws, and it's just a matter of time. Also want to get me one of them fancy smart-ass phones, cuz it will make work easier... at least that's what they sold me on.

Did you know the AT&T store over in East Nashville does not exist? In fact, the address doesn't exist. So I just enjoyed the ride to the west side of town to the other store, which is close to Centennial Park.

When I was rolling through the park, I saw this middle aged woman running behind another jogger with her hand on their back, kind like they were pushing them. When I passed, she was in fact, pushing. The runner in front was a teenage girl that seemed to have down syndrome. The lady was motivating the girl by pushing her and coaching at the same time. It seemed the girl had run out of energy, but the lady knew the girl could go further, so she helped her realize it. I found myself riding toward them, and when they looked at me, I could do nothing but smile and say, "awesome. just awesome."

Love shove in full effect. Betcha you thought is was something else...

Once finished at the AT&T store - the dude who helped me told me appearently didn't like his job as he shoed me how I could get it cheaper on line, then offered to set it up for me for free - I headed over to Bike Pedlar. They were nice enough to let me leave my bike there, as I had forgotten my lock. It was nice. Thanks.

Rolled out and ran into Ian, who was spending his lunch time riding. Perfect, I joined in and we rode back downtown. Operation get new phone a moderate success.

The ride tonight gave me a wonderful view of the mostly full moon, which my figure eight loop around the neighborhood gives me quite a few different vantage points. There is also one long-straight road. Every time I ride down it, I want to close my eyes and see how far I can ride in a straight line. I'm dumb, but I ain't stupid. I;m waiting for some one to join me on a night time, neighborhood ride so they can warn me... or better yet, guide me. That would be cool...

Stupid Stupid Stupid

2010-07-22T19:48:00.002-08:00

So... American's are learning from their mistakes, huh? We "Changed"

GM just purchased a sub-prime loan company to help those with "spotty credit". Did you get that? Lemmie paraphrase, GM spent $3.5B (that's $3,500,000,000. I made less than $32,000 last year - note the difference in number of zeros) in CA$H to give sub-prime loans on cars. Did we not just bail them out - with no payback? Now all the people who have lost jobs due to the "economy" can still buy cars?!

When is it enough?

Do the people of this country not see this shit?

They bought into the "Keeping up with the Jone's" so much that they wrecked the stock market to the point that people lost a bunch of jobs, pushing unemployment and homelessness higher than hell. Now these people can go back to buying cars? Did you ever think they didn't care about your credit, they just wanted to give you more and more, so they just started using your gluttony to fuel sales? Did you catch that part in the video. They did it to help increase sales. They don't give a fuck if you pay for it, as long as they sell it.

More. ...and this is why Erin Burnett is hot. She's fuckin' smart.

Once Americredit falls into a spiral of death, GM will dump it... or our tax dollars will bail it out... again. Ever hear of a vicious cycle? This country is so car addicted that even though your sub-prime mortgage is about to run you into bankruptcy, you can still drive an Escalade to court, and sit in the back and watch the Gulf get covered in oil on the satellite TV.

...all I have left is a flurry of expletives that I will keep to my self.

Thank you, and happy friday.

I've been as busy as hell.

2010-07-20T20:38:00.002-08:00

This is my post, and it ain't long. It is a long time coming, as I can't remember the last time I sat down to write about the trials and tribulations of being me - no matter how boring they are... but here you go.

One of the things I have been working on is this (link). It's a web page I made for a talk I am doing thursday. I'm speaking about bicycle safety and riding with groups to a bunch of people who have signed up for the MS Jack and Back. Basically, you raise a bunch of coin to ride to the Jack Daniels distillery, get drunk, crash, get up and ride home. Well, that';s what I did last time... but I worked it as a SAG guy. So I drove a van, fixed bikes, got drunk, and did it again. I would say everyone had fun.

I had just finished and sat down to watch a little TV before going to bed as I figured I'd write this in the morn. Well, wouldn't you know it, something set me off.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Bill Haslam.
He's an idiot, and I can prove it. I typically won't attack people running for office, I'd rather talk shit after the screw up. As far as I'm concerned (and to quote the WHO), "meet the new boss, same as the old boss". No matter who you vote for, they have been bought and sold. This guy though, he did a TV ad about illegal immigrants taking Tennessean's jobs.

Idiot. Pure stupidity. You want proof? Well, let's hear from our go-to-guy Doug Stanhope.

Yup. I would have to agree. Vote early. Vote often. ...but don't vote for anyone so stupid as to suggest that you are dumber than the illegals you hate. Cuz that's what he's saying. Haslam is saying a vote for him, is proof that you are a complete and total loser and you need to worry about some illegal immigrant taking your job. That's what he thinks of you. Nice.

Happy humpday. blah.

it's one of those storys

2010-07-14T20:40:00.004-08:00

Tonight at our supper club... Yeah, I go to a supper club. The food is kick-ass. The people are kick-ass, and we have a killer time. Twice a month, we get together and party the night away. We even had Big Dummy rides tonight.

Well, tonight, a good buddy (with dependents from a previous marriage...name withheld for reasons I don't know...whatever) told me what his girlfriend got him for Father's Day. On a side note, I think everyday should be Father's Day. Dad's kick ass. They teach you how to make your own fireworks and teach you how to shoot guns and blow shit up for fun. One day ain't enough to pay back for that kinda fun.

Anyway, this buddy of mine, who is the previously described type dad, tells me his girlfriend got him a custom key chain. This custom key chain didn't have some kinda of bull shit two-piece heart with FOREVER stamped across it. Nope. It said D I L F. Dilf. His girlfriend is awesome. Period. Let me tell you something, if my wife or a previous girlfriend, or any girl for that matter bestow a ordain piece of art like that upon me, a custom pendant that proclaimed "This is a dude I like to fuck" - in any way shape or fashion - it would never leave my body. Ever.

Now, this dipshit... he didn't have it with him. Yeah, "left it at home". Sorry kid, you lose.

Sometimes, you just can't make this shit up.

Happy thursday. It's my tuesday... if that makes sense.

Just seemed right

2010-07-11T20:00:00.002-08:00

I've posted this before, but I just finished watching a PBS special about physics and God. All I could think about was this.

Redd would dig it.

2010-07-09T12:26:00.002-08:00

I got a Surly Big dummy for the shop. We'll be riding it her and there, loaning it, renting it, whatever... until sometime when we sell it to buy another... maybe.

I've ridden a bicycle with an Xtracycle on it, as well as the cargo bikes from Kona, Voodoo and a couple others, and none of them rode like bicycles. The Surly, well, it is awesome. It feels just like a 1x1 unless you are making a tight turn, then the wheelbase comes into play. But this thing hauls. Big time.

Like you didn't know it was coming...

...and you think that will make a difference.

2010-07-07T20:14:00.003-08:00

So I sit back after an evening ride with a Gin and Tonic to check out what's happening on Al Gore's internet. I hit the email, weather, then the Facebook page just to see if I can get a laugh... cuz that's all a personal page is good for.

Now don't think I don't dig the fact that I can hit over 666 people (we hit that many "fans" the other night - then I played Slayer) in one fail swoop with an event, image of cool-ass stuff, or what's going on at the shop... so I got me a Facebook page for the shop. Well, you gatta have a personal page to start a "fan" page... so I got a personal page too. It was Gracie's fault.

Anyway, anytime someone asks me to be their buddy, I rightly do so. Why not? Can't have too many friends, can yeh? Plus, some of the commentary is wonderful. There are some really interesting people out there.

Well, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I had to "unfriend"... (sigh) ...Boycott BP. My first time. Like Red Dawn.

Salty, like a steak, but like you're eating it with a nosebleed. Yeah, it Hurt.

Why did I put myself through this...

They had convinced 800,000 absolute morons to change their profile image to their stupid fucking logo.

What I wrote was this:

"stop driving. just stop. walk. ride a bicycle. use public transportation. consolidate trips with friends. eat local foods (they use less gas to get them to you... a lot less gas). you need to practice what you preach.

...because the simple minded, effortless, meaningless action of changing your Facebook Profile Image isn't gunna do shit to clean up all that fucking oil"

Then I tipped the plastic canteen cup and drank their blood. That was it. It was over. I can become a warrior now. It wasn't so bad. Salty, like a steak, but like you're eating it with a nosebleed.

Savanna is cooler than you

2010-07-05T07:19:00.004-08:00

This year we decided to haul a cooler full of cold beverages to the second best place for fireworks watching in town. From meeting up with a customer at a red light - who handed me a jar of moonshine to hit before the light turned green - to Ron and Nelle walking up out of the blue and stumbling, literally, on our camp, everyone had an awesome time and the stories of the night could be endless.

But...

The high light of the night was Savanna. She has spina bifida, and is confined to a wheelchair - for ever. ...and you would never know. Words can not describe how awesome this 10 year old girl is. When she passed by with her mom, I stopped her to ask about her wheelchair wheels (I work on wheelchairs for free, because anyone that knows how should). They were disc wheel with a vertigo painted on them. Next thing I know, she and her mom joined us for a ton of laughs and fun. Savanna a was popping wheelies for us, boxing, making fun, and punking every one of us. She had so much fun, she came back with her dad and hung out more.

She knew, in her heart and soul, that she was no different than anyone else. It wasn't as if she had overcome any issue or problem that brought her to this reality of never using her legs, nope, she just knew.

It's amazing when you meet someone like this. She was digging life for all it had to offer, and still wanted more. I believe the key to life is that everyday, you should have fun and learn something. Savanna is eons ahead of the curve.

(me, Savanna's father, Savanna and Sharp shouting out to Slayer - photo cred, Bryan Bloebaum)

If you are very lucky, you'll get to meet these people. If you are smart, you'll learn something from them. ...because Savanna isn't just winning, she has already won ...and she doing it with authority. ...and she is cooler than you. Sorry.

Smyrna

2010-07-01T19:09:00.004-08:00

It seems like some people are angry about the new bike-art racks. It also seems there are these other angry people... who are angry about the fact that people are angry about the new bike-art racks.

- Story won't embed, clicky here -

Uh, did you research it enough to know that the funds for the racks came from the Metro Arts Budget? Yup. Instead of transportation dollars, or infrastructure dollars, it came from art. Do you realize how progressive that is? For someone, here... in Nashville, to think, "Hey, I'm a cyclist and cyclist's suffer on the hierarchy of importance and could use a helping hand. The money we are supposed to use to create art, well... let's make art, but make them bike racks too."

It's almost like they are bending the rules to help cyclists, how fucking cool is that?!

...and did you see Sandra Duncan's face? She was horrified. She sees the news crew walk up and she is so happy and proud that they were able to help out another user group, along with bringing more art to the streets of Nashville, and couldn't wait to say how thankful she was that they were able to do it.

...but nope, they want to know why she would allow this art - built with tax money allotted for art - that doesn't even have to be a bike rack - but it is - just not all of it - but that part does not serve cyclists - who it doesn't have to serve - but the rest of it does - but cyclists are angry because they struggle with a $7000 bike rack - that doesn't have to be a bike rack. They struggle, although you never see anyone struggle. But they struggle. Trust me. It's tough.

The third group of people that are angry at, the people that are angry about the angry people... as well as the first group of angry people that started it all... is where I fit in. We - the third group - can't seem to understand why cyclists would be angry with cyclists about art, of all things, that functions as a bicycle rack, but doesn't have to.

There is a huge number of cyclists in this city. I know this because I wouldn't have opened my own shop if I didn't believe there were enough cyclists to support it. Nashville's cyclists - all - need to unify and create one singular voice. From fixie kids to geriatric mountain bikers, if the artists can get city funds to make art - that also functions as bike racks for us - what could we do with city funds that are actually for cyclists? Think about it.

Ok, no more preaching.

The first Waffle House I ever entered, was winter 1996, first gig with a band I got into right after I moved to Nashvegas. Yeh, I played guitar in a prog-rock band - didn't work, as you can see. King Crimson and John Zorn covers mixed in with what happens when you mix them with Ozric Tentacles and Faith No more and write your own tunes. There was an ice storm and we got stranded there for about 2 hours. The three of us, and a shit ton of truckers at 3am. I've got my own story about this place. It was in Smyrna.

I was flirting with the waitress, enjoying her banter as it shot between the spaces in her teeth, when a dude at the bar started a conversation with me. "Hey pal, How much money you got?"

Bare in mind - I was fresh from the Northeast - accent and all - and just raring to make new friends. I won't recant the entire conversation, but in the end, he informed me the waitress happened to be his sister, and that I could buy her for the evening. Of course, not until her shift ended, but non the less.

A a few years later, can't remember when, but I see the Hicks sketch below. He had an interesting experience as well. Seemed like maybe it could have been the same people... in the same place... maybe...

Tuesday = VivStrong

2010-06-30T12:32:00.004-08:00

The start of my day began with running here and there, doing all the things one needs to do on a day off. Of course, I do it by bicycle, which allows me to stop and check out the cool stuff.

I've seen this dude around but never was able to say hi. The ingenuity of his design makes me smile. He ain't so fast, but he can haul a lot of shit.

Speaking of VivStrong, check out Sharp rockin' the colors. I love how Ride for Reading stands out so much. You can get your jersey designed by Sharp, just visiting sharptopia.com

Being VivStrong, we had to refuel with Popsicles. I think we enjoyed them more than Viv. Yes, that is the Blay of Blomb in the background.

Back at the compound, I got the wife's new computer set up for her while enjoying a cold beverage of awesomeness.

...and there was dancing.

This was just a cool pic I took a week or so ago on a ride. The greenway In Nashvegas is kick ass.

Happy mid week fun. I'm going to a wednesday night party tonight. ...and yes, I like me some Batman angles.

Don't have a cow, man.

2010-06-27T18:15:00.003-08:00

Russ and Laura came through this weekend. AKA Path Less Pedaled. They did a presentation on what it's like to have spent the last year living on the bike. Yes, living. They sold everything last year and headed out to explore. Yeah, I'm jealous as well.

What those who went to the shop didn't get , was the rest of the night...

It started with me not checking the weather before we left the shop. MOS, T-roy, Russ, Laura, and myself rolled onto the greenway wondering if it would rain. It did. Laura said it was the worst storm they had encountered since they left... last year. Next thing we know, a cop on a four wheeler rolled up to us asking where the north loop is. (let's just leave out the part about a cop asking for directions...)

I looked back at MOS and asked him to get everyone to the house, then hammered down the greenway full steam with a police four wheeler in tow. When we were about 100 yards from the north loop, I looked back and asked what we were looking for.

"A cow."

My response:

"A fucking cow?!"

Yes, a cow. Turned out, in a strange manner of weirdom, a buddy of mine had called the cops after encountering a herd of cattle on the greenway. Feel free to read that again. So the cows got spooked and one of the fell and got stuck on it's back. The cop and I found it.

Next thing I know, another cop comes up in a car... on the greenway. I told them we needed to help roll it over, but they wouldn't help. Shortly after - during my typical arguing with reason and logic - MOS and crew rolled up. They got off their bikes and agreed we needed to roll it. The cop from the car said we had done our job helping them find the cow and that we needed to go ahead and leave. So I have no idea what happened to the cow, though I am sure it did not have a good time stuck on it's back in the storm.

We headed on to the house and dried off for the pajama party the wife had concocted.

...and with that, what happens at our parties, stays at our parties. I will tell you there was a guy in just boxer shorts, one in an old lady gown, and one in his wife's teddy. There was much to drink and it was drank, and the evening ended at 1:30am... early by our standards.

I am still paying the price.

Haggle-less loss

2010-06-25T04:46:00.008-08:00

"Why would I buy this from you when I can get it online cheaper?"

"With everything I'm buying, I should get something for free."

"I need you to hook me up."

These are all quotes from people that have come into the shop. Really. What is it about bicycle shops? Would you walk into the grocery store, head to the check out with a buggy full of stuff and say any of these things, or anything like it? Would you walk into a Target and demand free stuff because you came there to buy stuff? I don't think so.

Another thing I hear is people telling me they build their own bikes. My first question to them is whether they TIG, lug or fillet braze their frames and what type of material they use. Most all back-pedal and say they don't know how to weld, they purchased the frame and then built the bike. My next question is something about lacing and tension when building wheels? The typical response is, "I don't know how to build wheels, I bought them from (insert name here)"

It gets awkward after that. I;m not trying to be a dick, it's just that there is a vast difference between using a multi-tool and fabricating a frame and fork.

There is also, "... well, aren't you going to fix it right now? I need my bike."
Which we just won't get into for so many reasons. I will say that it would be wise to get yourself two bicycles so if one has an issue, you still have the opportunity to ride.

So what is it about bicycle shops? I still can't figure it out. When did the professional bicycle shop become some kind of open air market in a third world country where arguing over price and value is typical? Why is the skill of a bicycle mechanic devalued because one can adjust a derailleur or replace a chain? Again, just because you can change the filter in your air conditioner doesn't mean you have the ability to rebuild the compressor. It just means you don't have to pay some one to come by your house once every six weeks to do a three minute job.

I wonder though, does it have something to do with the shops? Is it because mechanics aren't paid very well - typically in Nash it's between $12 and $15 an hour - which is about what a shift manager at McDonald's makes. Is it because so many people have come in pressuring to get a product at the price they saw online and the shop chooses to get the sale as apposed to educating the person on all the other benefits you get when you purchase a product from them? Of course, this is after they went to the shop and asked a bunch of questions, listened to what people on online forums said - who know nothing about what they are talking about - then after realizing they don't know what they are doing, came into the shop to have it fixed. ...and many times this is the person who wants it now and complains about the price.

I am not complaining, it's just that I can't figure it out. I guess I am asking these questions in order to find out how to fix it, as apposed to just bitching and moaning.

Whatever.

Today is the first anniversary of Micheal Jackson's death. Ho hum. This is better.

If you don't think so, you can visit these people and join in with the tattered and torn that still think Elvis and Hitler are alive and well, sipping cold drinks on a beach in South America. You will also find:

*** Videos about Michael Jackson's Message: Expose the New World Order ***

Yeah. Awesome.

Happy weekend. I'm gunna drink.

working on it

2010-06-23T08:08:00.001-08:00

for now, just enjoy the show.

Half way to the long way.

2010-06-21T04:50:00.005-08:00

One of my big goals in life is to race the Continental Divide before I'm forty years old - now the Tour Divide (which is happening right now). Currently, I'm 37. Not alot of time considering I just opened a bike shop and one needs a little more than a month off to even try. I've had four major goals that I thought up when I was a teenager, two of which I've accomplished.

See the Grand Canyon - done
Open my own business - done
Ride across the United States
Visit every state in the Union

I'm 50% of the way there. I visited the Grand Canyon years ago on a mountain bike trip with Dug to Moab Utah. Also got to see dinosaur tracks, Monument Valley and Arches National Park on that one. It was a great time, so much that we did it again the next year. Obviously I have my own business with the bike shop, so we can call that one done as well - the goal being to try. I have no problem failing as long as I tried, as failing at something is better than the regret of never trying.

Visiting every state. Green means my wife and I have visited, blue - just me, and yellow is what is left on my list. The Great Divide will get Montana, Idaho and Wyoming checked off my list, and since it starts on the North side, I can leave a little early and get the Dakotas and Nebraska. That will get everything west of the Mississippi checked off the list. - and if I am in a position that I can take a month off the shop in the middle of the summer (the busiest time) there should be no problem with me taking time off the next year to tackle the far north east and knock out the rest of the states.

The one thing that draws me to the divide is the views.

Montana:

Wyoming and Idaho:

Colorado:

New Mexico:
How wonderful would it be to see the transitions between these areas? That would just be so damn cool. ...and the pic from Colorado, how hard would it be to not stop and take a quick dip in that mountain top lake?

It has nothing to do with winning, it's all about the adventure. The only reason I want to do the race is because that's when the most people are out there and you are being tracked daily. That makes it the safest way. Not to mention, how cool would it be to finish within the time cut?

So, with the Tour Divide about two fifths of the way in, I just started wishing again.

...in the streets.

2010-06-17T17:13:00.004-08:00

Ever wonder how long it takes for a society to get fed up with something? As in when a society gets to the point that they rise up and demand change? I tend to wonder about this a lot.

Take for instance, the Rodney King trial. They induced riots and anti-establishment actions, but in the end, L.A. is still the same. Nothing changed. New Orleans. Katrina. The city is coming back, well has come back with some scars, but it's still the most corrupt city/state in the union. People are still dealing with shit after years, but there is really no more talk about the serious flaws and fuck-ups that the government made that caused so many of the issues that remain unsolved today.

Now I wonder about the Gulf of Mexico and BP. People will undoubtedly lose their livelihood, including those who will lose their businesses, some of which were handed down from previous generations and were to be handed down again. The family dynamic has been changed, and all for the love of oil. All so people can drive to the store in a climate controlled box with minimal time outside. Obesity, illness, lack of exercise, all can be attributed in some part to plentiful and cheap fuel for plentiful and cheap cars. With the way things are going in the world, do you think people, hell Americans, will slow their use of oil? Will the vast majority rethink all the things they do that use oil?

Did you know that millions of our tax dollars go to the oil companies? ($36.5 billion in subsidies for oil and gas companies) Did you know this?

Senate Votes to Give Big Oil $35 Billion in Subsidies Rather Than Use Money to Reduce Deficit Yup, $35,000,000,000.00 of your tax dollars. How can you not be angry about this?

So my question is, will things change? I doubt it, as I've yet to see BP stations burning to the ground. If you are not pissed off enough, just head over to MSNBC and watch...

Have a good weekend.

There are to many rules.

2010-06-13T18:51:00.004-08:00

I think you should be able to do what ever you like, with the understanding that you, and only you, are responsible for your actions.

Now, I do understand there are rules that create order like stopping at red lights and not speeding. Yes, I think speeding is wrong simply because there are idiots out there that are scared to death to drive any faster than 55mph. If everyone else wasn't legally bound to drive no faster than say, 75mph, the interstates would be death zones. It's not hard to avoid an object if you are traveling 20 miles an hour faster than it, but if you were doing 95mph, no way.

I think there are too many moral and personal laws. Take abortion, for example. There should not be laws saying it is illegal to have an abortion. Just the same, there should not be laws saying that you can. It should be the parent('s) choice. Ok, the hate flow. Blah blah blah. What I'm saying is, that should not even be a rule of law. What kind of arrogance do you have to have to make a decision for someone on the other side of the country. Someone you will never meet. There is a very good chance your family trees aren't even in the same forest. Who are you to make that decision? It just shouldn't be your decision, pro or con, unless you are the one contemplating it.

How about fast food. Should there be laws about high fructose corn syrup? No, and there's not. It's also legal to smoke tobacco. Both obesity and lung cancer come from these activities, they are legal, and these activities are known throughout the world that they will result in untimely death that could have be avoided with abstinence. But... it is illegal to kill yourself quickly. You can do it slowly all you like. But you will not jump off a bridge, eat a bullet or have doctor assisted suicide. Nope, not legal. Right now I could decide to never ride a bike or exercise again, and eat nothing but Slim Jims and salt water taffy, and it would be completely legal. In about 3 years, when I'm 400lbs and on my death bed, knowing my self-inflicted medical condition is terminal and will be extremely painful, there are laws that keep me from ending it quicker.

All drugs should be legal. If you want to do meth. I got your back, fuck it. Make the decision and hit it full steam. As long as you know all your teeth are going to rot out and you'll end up looking like some one out of Auschwitz, go have fun. I'll even buy you some Pudding Pops so you can gum at it. ...and honestly, if your parents brought you up correctly, they should be proud of you for making a life choice and should stand behind it as well.

Why do these things need to be ruled on. Who cares what you do, and why do you care what some one else does? Maybe we should occupy ourselves with what we can do for others, instead of what we think others should do, or not do.

Room a thousand years wide.

2010-06-10T18:58:00.005-08:00

It's been a long week at the shop. One of the busiest yet. Really. I've twice found my self in a position that I think I need to hire help. I'm trying to push through and wait it out. I've got a couple friends that are helping me out on Saturdays, which seems to make it much easier.

The other thing, seems like I am hitting a whole lot of mid-range cyclists. Like, the general enthusiast kinda average working Joe. Basically, like my friends. That seems to be my main clientele. People making a solid living and spending their money wisely. It seems as though I have found the area no one else has, the practical cyclist. Most of my customers commute, tour, and just have fun on their bikes. Sure there are newbies and geriatrics of cycling, but it's as if all the people who secretly read the Rivendell Reader are coming out of the woodwork. I really dig it. I feel like it's a niche that is really large.

Think about it. How many people do you know that do "extreme" cycling. Extreme meaning riding more than once a week, and riding for more than an hour. Shit, people that go to a lot of spin classes are "extreme" riders to lots of people. If you work in an office, look around and see how many people would "really be interested" in going to Moab Utah and renting down hill bikes? Seriously. Ask some of your friends that don't ride if they would be interested in it. Betcha get a shit-ton of blank stares.

Anyway, this seems like the people that really dig the shop. Their inspiration comes from the simple joy of riding, but also riding something practical and nice that can do many different things. As apposed to some like commuting from the suburbs in a Lamborghini.

Practical cycling. Imagine that.

I'll send you off to the weekend with a great tune from Soundgarden before they got super rich and famous.

accountability

2010-06-07T18:46:00.002-08:00

It seems the president is seriously holding people accountable for their actions. Well, at least his words are. Wouldn't it be nice if this is the "Change" he was talking about? I can't wait to see...

"quote"

2010-06-06T19:40:00.001-08:00

I spent a year there one week...

really.? news and commentary

2010-06-03T19:29:00.012-08:00

Yeah, the people of this fine city are fed up with the homeless people that had to move to a field, in a place you can only see from the interstate, because where they live was flooded. Here.

They are pissed that "their" community was ruined by these homeless people living under power lines in the middle of nowhere. I bet those fat-asses never knew that place existed until one of them saw something while driving their self-entitled SUV into their Stepford Wives type neighborhood chock full of redundant design created to make leaving your home feel like hell, cuz it is.

(video would not load - click here - stupid blogger)

Did you see the first asshole they interviewed? He was a pastor. A PASTOR! He is supposed to speak the word of God, of love, toleration, acceptance, turning the other cheek. What the fuck!? Didn't Jesus and crew just stroll about the holy land and camp wherever they could to preach the word of God? Uh... (someone needs their 501c3 non-profit status yanked from their greedy little hands)

Jeannie, on the other hand, is not only right, but she's a hell of a lot better to look at then that fat ol' bastard complaining from the pulpit. See, send the hottie to save the poor. You can't make that shit up.

Now, let's talk about the elected official. Is he doing what his constituents ask, making him a true leader of the people? Or is he a douche. I say douche.

Mr. Beaman? Well, he owns car lots in Nashvegas. I have no plans for buying a car any time soon, but I urge all of you to drive on past this place and give Mr. Beaman some of your money. He said he couldn't understand how anyone could have a problem with helping those poor people out. Yeah. He's a keeper.

So, let's see: a good looking chick christian chick and a rich dude being super cool, or a couple of politicians?

Here's the part where it gets real fun... sorry about the commercials. nothing is free.

Another elected official, Mr. Steve Abernathy, you need to go away. "A stake in the heart of the community"? I have no words for you. Please drown yourself in BP's problem, we'll all be better off.

Jeannie wins in so many ways. I bet her parents rock.

And to News Channel 5. Thank you for pointing these complete douche bags out, as well as some awesome people. I can't believe I am giving accolades to the news. Do good.

tuesday's ride

2010-06-02T04:52:00.003-08:00

Yesterday's laziness gave way to a missed mountain biking opportunity with Dug, which I regret a bit. The last time I got off road was the Snake Creek Gap in January, almost 6 months ago. That would be the longest I've gone, ever.

Between having to roll out and ride to the trail at 2:30 - during the hottest part of the day - and riding all over town running to the bank and such before, I knew by the time I got to the trail, it just wouldn't be fun. So after hooking up with Sharp on the Viv ride, that's all I got. Don't get me wrong, I love riding in any way, and the Viv ride is great. I just have to get my panzie ass back in the saddle for those long hauls.

These are called Silly Bandz. They are like rubber bands and are being banned in elementary schools. Little kids are shooting them like rubber bands until someone got shot in the eye.

“Our primary concern is always the safety and welfare of the children. It’s best for everyone for 100 percent safety. Thank God there were no serious injuries. Plus, it’s a distraction,” Namey said.

Why can't you have fun? Sure, when you push a little, you might get hurt (like riding a bike), but in the end you'll be fine, you'll toughen up, and you will learn. You know, at school. Learn at school. What a novel concept.

You can't have fun any more without the SWAT team coming out to stop you.

Really? As long as you are only going to hurt yourself, or those who are willing participants, who cares? I bet there were many other things those cops could have been doing to help people, as apposed to shutting down some teenage fun like a drug bust.

You know what happens when parents lock kids in their rooms with no chance of injury because the parent is afraid little precious might get a booboo and a scar for life? This.

What would you rather your child do? Personally, I'd rather see my kids doing this.

Reality Check

2010-05-29T20:18:00.010-08:00

The math on BP's drilling fuck up.

Every 32 vertical feet you travel under water, the pressure increases by 14.7 pounds per square inch. At 5000 feet, there is more than 2200 pounds of pressure per square inch. What kind of pressure is the oil under to have enough pressure built up to blast out at thousands of barrels a day? I do not have a PHD in physics, but I do not think a giant concrete block or shotgun full of golf balls will have any impact what so ever.

BP also states that all the ways they are attempting to "fix" this issue with have always worked on land. Well kids, may I let you in on something? They are trying these efforts at 5000 feet under water. That is a mile under water. 50 football fields, stacked end to end... that deep under water. Might as well be on Mars.

Check this one out from the LA Times.

"Iraj Ershaghi, a petroleum engineering professor at USC, warned that continuing to inject mud into the well at extreme pressure could have broken pipes, or casings, deep in the well, causing it to collapse. Such a scenario could leave a ragged crater that could be difficult, if not impossible, to plug by any means, he said."

Now, let's move on to what there is to do after they stop the oil - which is under the immense pressure of the weight of the earth's crust.

Anyone got a pool skimmer the size of Delaware? Seriously. What kind of impact is this going to have on the south eastern U.S.'s fishing industry, tourism, life in general? The sludge coming out is lighter than salt water, well most of it, and it is turning the Gulf into a giant oil slick. Holy Fuck.

At this point you either don't care and have moved on, or you want to know what I think we, as a country, should do.

Well, let me start with this. The average commute distance in Metro Nashville is 32.6 miles each way (see link). Two weeks for vacation, 50 weeks times 5 days equals 250 days, times 32.6 miles is 8150 miles a year... on average. In the U.S. the average miles per gallon is 26.4 (link). 308 gallons a year to drive to work, but you gatta get home... 616 gallons, and lets say $2.80 a gallon. $1724.80 in gas.

The 2009 population of the entire 13-county Nashville Metropolitan Statistical Area was 1,582,264. Cut that in a third and say that many people drive to work - the only statistic I couldn't find, but it sounds about right.

$9,113,840.64 in gas just to go to work and back. Yes, $9 million.

Now, if every one of those people found a way to get to work without using their car just once a month, that would be $8,676,080.93. That would cut gas consumption by $437,759.71. Yes, half a billion dollars in gas would not be purchased simply because every caught a ride with a friend, took the bus, or rode a bike to work once a month. Now, how about once a week?

One more thing you can do.

Buy local from shops that buy local. Local food markets and farmer's markets that get their wares from local farmers use much less oil than big chain stores that sell items shipped from all over the world.

If you are truly angry about this, do something that counts. Find a way to put less of your money in oil company's pockets. In this day and age, there is no way you can live without using oil, but you can easily live with using a little less.

rough day at the mill

2010-05-27T19:19:00.002-08:00

My dad, who has had his own business, told me when I started: "you'll have good days and bad". I called him tonight and said, "no shit."

Time to sit back, chill and plan for tomorrow. At no point did anyone say taking over the world would be easy... but it can be fun.

tuesday day off = ride

2010-05-26T06:44:00.010-08:00

I mowed the lawn, then I did this.

Perfect beginning...

Perfect ending.

I ended up riding with four different people; a racer chick, a dude who is starting a zero gasoline lawn service, a commuter on his way home, and a fixie chick heading out for a fun ride.

The Coors Tan Can has bright blue mountains, which means it is at the optimal coldness for consumption. What a way to win.

The evening ended with a nice walk with the wife, three more of those Tan Cans, and a little tv. It was great.

*all photos were taken by me, while riding. except the last one... obviously.*

after a few weeks,

2010-05-25T08:14:00.001-08:00

our internet service at the house is back up and running. maybe I can get back into the swing of bitching and complaining on a regular basis...

Bike to work week/month

2010-05-20T05:20:00.004-08:00

Biking anywhere for that matter. If you have no where to safely lock up your bicycle, you won't use it for transportation and simple trips. It doesn't matter how many bike lanes, greenways or any other type of infrastructure are built, as long as people can't lock up their bikes, they won't use them. (yeah I said it twice).

Tuesday I went to the Bike Art meeting to learn about the new bike racks metro is putting in, and it's a start. I have some ideas of my own, and I'm just waiting to meet up with the right person to get it started.

in other news...
Tomorrow night! sponsors include:

-Nashville Bicycle Lounge
-Yazoo
-Anthill Films
-Dirt Rag
-Bicycle Times
-Planet Bike
-Genuine Innovations
-Park Tool
-Sigma
-Jamis Bicycles
-Shimano
-Walz Caps

We have so much stuff to give away, it is crazy. Come and get some!

I ride bicycles

2010-05-17T05:03:00.002-08:00

Yes, I do, in fact. ...and I had my first recreational - no destination ride yesterday. It was raining, it was messy, but it was a blast. After the last few months of opening and running the shop, I've not had time... well, not made time for much fun. I kinda forgot how important fun is. So now I expect the two of you to hold me accountable for having bike fun.

Tomorrow I plan to ride in the afternoon, after the Nashville Civic Design Center's meeting on adding more bike racks to Nashville. It's called City Think. Interesting. I have some ideas of my own to offer, though who knows how they will be received.

This saturday the Greenways for Nashville is having a clean-up. The flooding didn't do a lot of damage to a lot of the greenway system, though Richland Creek's bridges got hammered and currently are not safe. Having to be at the shop, I won't be able to volunteer, but some of the shop team members are going and I plan to give a little help from the shop.

That's the one thing that keeps me ok being able to not take part in volunteer stuff like this, as a small business owner, it's kinda cool to see what you ca do for people and how you are taken a little more seriously with ideas to make the city more bike friendly. Plus, I don't have to lobby and persuade the owner to do stuff, I know 'em. They think the same way I do.

If you haven't heard, we are doing the Nashville premiere of Anthill Films "Follow Me" as a fund raiser for Ride for Reading.

Yeah, awesome. Have a good week.

still...

2010-05-14T07:59:00.002-08:00

Well, I typically write to my blug in the evening, late. Many times around midnight when my mind is racing and I can't sleep and thoughts are just bouncing around in my head like super bouncy balls in a giant rubber room.

We haven't had internet service at the house for quite some time now, so until it gets fixed, the posts will continue to be sporadic... and done from work - hence no midnight mania. Right now, my head is on straight and I don't have the insomnia sillies.

So with that, enjoy your weekend. I'm going back to work.

Slowing moving forward.

2010-05-10T07:53:00.002-08:00

The sporadic blog posts are because I hove no Al Gore Internet at the house. No bother, just keeps me from sitting on the computer all night watching Southpark and other social commentary to keep this insomniac entertained while the rest of the world sleeps.

I am amazed at the amount of volunteering. So many people are giving their time to help people they don't know. The only pain I have, as a new business owner and sole employee, I have to sit at the shop when I could be helping out. I guess that could be selfish, but it's how I feel. More of my friends that not have lost something or had major impacts from the storm, and it would just be nice to lend a hand. Jenny, a friend of mine told me the other night, "Welcome to adulthood". Yeah, I don't dig that part.

One of the best parts of all this is the fact that very few people died. Less than 30 I think as of today. With the flooding so wide spread and so many small places hit, it is amazing most everyone is safe. They may have lost all their stuff, and their house might be gone, but they are ok. You can replace things, but not people. For that, I am thankful.

be safe.

Getting back to business.

2010-05-06T08:14:00.003-08:00

From Just another Pretty Farce

"While I’m very glad that Sean Penn isn’t here in his ridiculous white “life jacket” pretending to help for the cameras... ...But I would like to just say to all the Celebrities and movers and shakers that y’all better think next time you want me to send money to your sing-along for Haiti or Whereveristan. Because I saw how much you cared when it was in your own damned backyard, poseurs."

I couldn't agree more.

I think half the city doesn't have any idea what the hell is going on. If the people that live here aren't taking it seriously, how can we ask the national media to take it seriously?

A buddy of mine was sandbagging a building he owns downtown, and he said people were just walking by, sight seeing, and taking pictures of him sandbagging. No one even stopped to help. What the fuck?

I also think these are the same people that would be crying and bitching if they - themselves - were the ones in trouble. I find it pathetic.

If you don't live in Nashville, text Red Cross to 90999 to donate $10 to flood relief.

We are fine.

2010-05-03T08:09:00.002-08:00

Alot of people aren't.

Spent yesterday morning building water bars to get the water flowing into the garage to flow away from the garage.

Went to the shop to find about an inch of water. Took care of that.

Went home to find the street behind mine flooding like a mother fucker. MOS and I grabbed kayaks and helped get people out.

If you are not having problems, go help people with problems.

News?

2010-04-27T19:12:00.002-08:00

Yeah, watched it for the first time tonight. ...but before I get into that, guess what I did today?

I rode my bike almost all day. Got myself VivStrong in the rain, hung out and played with Viv and Sharp while she rode her bike and played with other kids. Then I came home, changed out of the wet clothes, and headed back out for almost two more hours of riding and watching the sunset on the greenway. It was very much quite nice.

News.
Greece.
The wife came home and wanted to know if I knew anything about Greece.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Greece is apparently fucked. Oh yeah, and we are too.

yeh. Still had a great day though.

We came.

2010-04-25T19:34:00.003-08:00

We saw. We kicked it's ass.

The Third Annual Nashville Scavenger Hunt went off today, and in full Crazy Johnny fashion. He and Ron headed it up this year because I was a little busy. I guess I just consulted. Shoulda charged.

So we decided to use it as a fundraiser for Ride for Reading, a non-profit started in my neck of the woods that's putting books in the hands of kids who don't have them. Yeah, think about growing up with no books. That is what you call missing out, and it would of just sucked. You would be an fucking moron if you never read a book. Send them money now (click here), it helps keep the balance of idiot vs. reasonable person in our favor.

We ended up getting a few hundred books and $85 for the auction of a Custom Walz Cap that was given to me for the shop (I love those people) along with a 20% off coupon to the shop, and Ride for Reading t-shirt and socks. Good job guys. Thank you to everyone.

We loved seeing parents riding with their kids on a tour of Nashville of no specific route. Knowing these children are not only being raised on bikes, but being a family on bikes as part of a fundraisers help other children. That my friends, is true parenting.

Here are your winners:

(yeah, the kid that got first place, he was riding with his dad. Fuck Yeah! That, my friends, is called winning.)

Just cruising into the weekend with a smile

2010-04-22T19:02:00.003-08:00

Yeah, a little P.E. in the just the right way.

Have good weekend.

I believe.

2010-04-20T19:19:00.006-08:00

I, personally, think it should be up to the individual to make rules. There are too many people making rules and laws, that don't have to follow these rules and laws. Libertarian probably isn't strong enough. Add a touch of anarchy and some cold beer and you might get close. I just think there is too much fabricated drama and bullshit to keep people occupied as apposed to real issues and goals.

Look at the first statement, why would the parents not just turn the TV off and have a talk with the child? Is it that their parents never did for them, and they are lead by that example? This makes me wonder what the next generation will be like.

While riding today (shop's closed on tuesdays and I have to get a ride in) I thought about all the great empires and revolutions. The big ones. Not the American or French, no. I talking about the fall of the Roman Empire, Aztecs and Mayans, the Egyptians and Chinese. The great empires that ruled continents or even the known world, and for hundreds of years. What made these fall? Could it be simply that things got too easy? The people got fat, lazy and sick? How about the masses just got fed up.

I believe all life is meant to be free to do what it wants, and the rule of law should be of the land. When the rule of law becomes a means of income, it is no longer blind, and that's when it loses all validity.

I believe there is a new epoch to be seen, and things will begin to change.

Sorry I missed you

2010-04-18T17:32:00.002-08:00

Friday was a bit of a crazy day, and all I wanted to do was come home and relax. Friday was of course preceded by thursday, which was crazy too, and that's why I missed posting. I know you are all on pins and needles, so I apologize.

The last week has been crazy fun time in my life. The realization that I am in charge, it all rides on me, and if this fails... it's all my fault, really set in. Then again, we have been doing great at the shop. Way better than I ever anticipated, just hope it carries on and grows.

As far as my personal life, which I assume is why you people tune in, it's been the typical drinking and carrying on. This morning, I walked across the street to join MOS and kids for their first double.

can't seem to embed, you'll just have to click...

one
two
three - the moron himself

It was a great way to enjoy my morning coffee.

Just as they finished up, I headed out for the Ron lead/Crazy Johnny ride. We rolled the scavenger hunt loop and drank a lot of beer. Shortly after the end of that, Ron and I ended up at the Village Pub/Beer Garden. This is a new pub near the homestead that is owned partly by a buddy of mine. It sure was fun, and you should go there.

The day ended with a chill ride back to the house, home made pizza, and an ice cream sandwich.

Tomorrow will be a good day. I can just feel it.

Day off.

2010-04-13T18:47:00.002-08:00

Just know that it ended with me sitting on the greenway bridge watching the sunset after spending most of the day outside on the bike. Yeah, it was great.

Well kids,

2010-04-11T19:16:00.002-08:00

I did not go to the shop today.

I slept until 10:30.
Ate a nice, home cooked breakfast without rushing.
I went for a relaxing recreational bicycle ride.
I helped out a dude who had a tire bead fail.
T-roy picked me up and we played disc golf (third time for me. We don't keep score, we drink beer, and we laugh alot).

It was great. I spent a vast majority of the day outside. I needed it.

Now that I've soaked it all in... Surprise surprise, as I rube my eyes...

See you kids on the flip side. Smile.

this is it.

2010-04-08T17:01:00.002-08:00

saturday morning at 9am, we open the bike shop.

Just so you know, I started this here blug about four years ago with the intention of morphing it into the shop blug. That would be the bike shop I was planning to open in East Nashville... hence the name of the blug. Another dude beat me to it. No prob. I kept working away at it, planning, meeting people, listening, learning, and even fucking up. I kept pushing toward my one goal: to open my own bike shop and take care of people the way I think they should be taken care of.

Well, here it is.

Walsh, a biddy of mine from Chattanooga, came through town and stopped by last week. Hadn't seen him in months. He looked at the shop, looked at me, smile, and said, "well, you did it. This is what you described to me years ago." He was talking about the design and layout. The vibe. The mood. The M.O.

Kinda makes me feel good to know that I was able to keep my focus and do what I thought this should be.

Now... just gatta get this puppy started and keep her hummin'.

See you guys monday. That is unless you are coming to the Grand Opening saturday, then I'll buy you a beer.

a waiting game

2010-04-06T18:41:00.002-08:00

Other than waiting on a few more things to show up from wholesale companies, we are pretty much ready to go. The signs should be complete and up by friday (yeah, cuttin' that one close) and I already have four bikes in on consignment.

I had planned to slow down this week, by loading a ton of work in on the front end - almost to the point of overwhelming myself - so as we got closer to the opening there would be less to get done... and it's working. The taper in time I need to be at the shop has slowly crept down to about 8-9 hours a day: a typical work day. The last couple weeks have brought a couple 10 and 12 hour days, but no more consecutive 8am to midnight days. Yesterday, I even got finished in time to ride home before dark.

The one thing I am noticing is all the green is coming back. The thick, lushness of emerald and lime is beginning to take hold. I've been riding the greenway in lately, simply to get in the middle of it. I had quit commuting on the greenway last year because of people being rude, but so far everyone has been very pleasant. I even stopped and pet a dog on the way in this morning, and the lady with it was extremely nice. Maybe everyone is tired of cold, brown, irritating winter... and spring has people smiling again.

...and I can't wait to get some of this again.

(pic cred - Derf)

I figured it out!

2010-04-04T19:30:00.004-08:00

We bike shop guys can be pricks sometimes. I know this, the bike shop guys know this, and the customers know this. I've seen talk of the "grumpy bike mechanic" that gets pissed off at you because you tried to help him fix your flat.

From Outside Magazine:
"As a kid, I used to visit Newbury Comics, in Harvard Square, where the aloof clerks (think Jack Black in High Fidelity) blasted Skinny Puppy and Erasure on a tinny stereo. When I asked for Huey Lewis, it was like requesting gonorrhea"

Did you ever think there might be more to it? Yeah, more.

You know what almost every mechanic has to look at all day? Pictures peppering the shop like a Hustler Hollywood of skinny-ass $10,000 bike ridin' super fun fest-a-pa-looza. Yeah, all freakin' day. Pictures of beautiful people riding bikes in the most beautiful parts of the world. Just so you know, we are bike mechanics. We don't make a lot of money. In fact, most of you make a hell of a lot more money than a typical bike mechanic. You can afford to ride that high-end joy ride of a sexy machine in those foreign lands that look like heaven. Then... we get to hear about it as we are cleaning the heaven dirt from that place off your bike. When we see it all day, it's a constant reminder. Hurts, just a little.

Then again, you didn't get to build up a Shimano 3sp internal mountain/disc hub.

I heard it was coming, but for this to be the first wheel I build out of my own shop?! That's pretty damn cool. Know what else? I gatta build another set of wheels out of these (when they show up anodized black).

Yeah. PIMP. I don't get to ride either of these wheels. Other than the fact I'll be building up the bikes and I will test ride them, I'll still never get to ride either set of these wheels through the countryside on a long afternoon in the land of OZ. Nope. While they are doing that, I'll be building up another awesome set of wheels with love and respect, just to watch them roll out the door and carry a very happy person to a heavenly place.

I do get excited when they come back after a few years. I get to see how they matured and weathered. I get to see any errors that only more experience can bring to light. It's nice. But then they leave again.

What am I getting at? We care about our work. We want it perfect every time, even though we know there is a flaw somewhere. Have you never heard us question the health of the bicycle after a wreck? We always care that you're ok, but we ask about the bicycle with almost a mother-like worry.

Well, we bike mechanics love your bike more than we love you. Sorry, but it's true. ...and in some cases, we love your bike more than you do. That's why we're grumpy. Like a dad when his teenage daughter comes home after a first date. Dad don't like the guy. No matter what, kid's trying to fuck his daughter. Don't like him. No question. We don't want you to touch it until we know you care as much as we do.

So know when your mechanic is aggravated with you...

...it's cuz you're that kid. ...and you're taking his 18 year old daughter to Figi.

diggin this right now.

2010-04-01T18:33:00.003-08:00

Really...

2010-03-30T20:40:00.005-08:00

...but I was so intrigued!? Bike Snob finally uncloaked himself and has shown his face to the world... and it made the freakin' New York Times!

What big news to the Bicycle-Blog-o-Sphere. Especially to all those who seemed to have the same satirical outlook and reality based thought processes that poured onto a computer keyboard like vomit out of a car window in a Krystal parking lot at 2am.

Can the reign continue without the hidden face of the notorious Robin Hood-esc bandit who stole thunder from the giants and gave to the late night cyclo-geeks? What does this mean to the masses who really enjoyed knowing that his anonymity kept him from facing true judgment in the eyes of those he apposed and left him to live life as he saw it without shame or fear?

Does this mean all of the copy cats who needed the inspiration of such a monstrous force of cyclo-literature need to focus on their own piece of the world now? Should they quit trying to one up the man with knee jerk reactions pounded out into Al Gore's internet within minutes of his prose using a simple format change in an attempt to look original?

One can only imagine the cacophony of useless thoughts rattling in empty heads while fingers peck like chickens at feeding time in an attempt to fuel an ego that is trying desperately to build a unique thought, yet continues to find itself drowning in a sea of obvious mimicry that engulfs any and all hope for a future beyond sub-par?

The future for those... is uncertain.
_________

...alright, how did that sound? I think I did ok. Only had to use the thesaurus twice.

Happy wednesday everybody. It' gunna be nice outside for the rest of the week, so quit wasting time in front of your computer and get out and ride yer bike!

The sun is shining,

2010-03-29T04:34:00.005-08:00

and I am writing my post Monday morning, quite atypical of the routine.

The weekend was filled with all sorts of fun things like:
-cutting wood
-busted and bleeding knuckle
-installing windows
-busted and bleeding knuckle
-framing a door
-busted and bleeding knuckle

So now I am one pinky knuckle busted and bleeding away from every knuckle on my right hand. The left one is fine, just hit it with a hammer a half dozen times.

Well, we are almost there, which means once the shop is ready to open and a routine is done, it will be time to make time to relax, ride my bike, hang out with friends, and do all those other things that are fun. Not that I'm not having fun, it is a blast most of the time. I just miss helping people get on bikes, working on bikes, and other bike related things. It's amazing how little riding I have been able to do and how it effects me physically and emotionally. (don't be surprised to find me curled up in the fetal position wailing like a 2 year old who can't have a cookie...)

So enough complaining out of me, lets look at a beautiful woman wearing my shop t-shirt.

Photographs by Bryan Bloebaum
Logo and T-shirt design by Sharp Emmons
Screen Printing by Doug Culberson
Model: Rachel
Bike: Raleigh Super Course

Alright kids, have a wonderful monday.

I need a drink.

2010-03-23T20:16:00.003-08:00

Here I sit with a glass of Chilean wine. It is yummy and a great way to end the night. It was earned, hands down.

I realized that today, I have spent more time driving in the last five weeks than I have in the last 6 months. I miss riding my bike, and it doesn't help when my friends swing by the shop-in-progress on their bikes. I'm really looking forward to my next leisure ride.

In other news, I'm back on the "reality medicine" - i.e. comedians who are social commentators and realists. Carlin, Stanhope, Hicks, they all get it, and they sure as hell know how to address it.

I continue to wonder how much longer rules and laws will be made by people you don't know (that do not have to obey those same laws) before the public decides they have had enough. How much more money do they have to take from you before you get fed up? I see more and more people joining the libertarian party, but will that come to anything? I believe the next twenty years are going to be quite interesting... maybe.

I can't stop thinking about the $1,000 I just spent on a point of sale (computerized cash register). You know why I bought that for my little shop, taxes. Taxes are such a nightmare, I spent $1,000 on a point of sale so I don't have to worry about taxes. ...and I pay a lot of taxes. I own a house, the wife has a car, food, clothing, everything. EVERYTHING! ...and continue to believe I am not getting my money's worth.

Good Morning!

2010-03-22T04:15:00.003-08:00

I just got the news that Phil Wood died last week. If you don't know who he is, he invented the sealed bearing hub. This might clarify.
Yeah, they are the shit. No detail overlooked, not even the insides of the hub flange window where it is polished. Phil Wood bearings are the standard of excellence in the bicycle industry. ...and no one with half a brain would tell you otherwise. So when you are having your nightcap, raise it up to Phil and thank him for solving problems that made your bicycle rides so much better.

With all the health care shit and rules and laws and taxes and people I've never met making decisions that will effect me for the rest of my life and my family's lives, just thought I would point this out.

Well, I was trying to say that, but he says it better... so I posted it.

Can you tell I haven't been riding a bike at all lately? I tell you this, once we get the shop open and in a rhythm, we are going to have a big ass ride from the shop to bar hop ourselves all over town to celebrate, followed by some serious mountain biking. I've recieved no hatemail from my liver lately, and I feel like something is missing...

for the first time...

2010-03-19T07:40:00.001-08:00

My first post from the shop. Been busy as hell this week, but it is paying off. Have a good weekend and bee safe. see yah monday.

rough week

2010-03-18T05:17:00.003-08:00

Between working on the shop and some plumbing issues at the house (came home last night to a puddle in the basement coming from the bathroom above it), my time has been completely consumed.

I'll be back on schedule next week.

click here...

Yeah, whatever.

2010-03-15T19:34:00.003-08:00

Monday post here you go.

Does it get any better?

good

2010-03-11T19:14:00.009-09:00

You know why people always want to be king? Think about back in the colonial times, or into the medieval era. Man, how often did you get a bath? How often were you not bathing in some green-ass pond full of turtles and shit? The king, man that dude had it made. Good food, people getting you shit so you don't have to get up from the sofa, hot chicks wanting only to pleasure you (cuz they to reap the benefits), all this for a dude who has a bunch of people loyal to him for really no good reason.

So every once in a while, some one would off the dude and take his place, only to be off-ed by some other dude wanting it more. You know, a freakin' bath of WARM water. Not cold turtle shit water. Clean warm water. If it was the middle ages, I would totally kill someone for a hot bath.

I say this because I just finished taking a shower. I have a big Uncle Jesse meets Chuck Norris beard right now by choice, not cuz razor blades don't exist. I just get lazy and don't care to shave cuz it's winter. But I have a choice. I could shave it all off in just a few minutes. That poor bastard eating mice to live has not other option. His life fuckin' sucks.

Not sure what my point was, but it was a good one.... Just thought I would thank all those who worked through the industrial era so I can adjust the temperate of the shower without moving. ...and it's called a shower. A pleasant shower. Not washing machine, it's more pleasant than that. The pressure just right that is massages.

This blog post sponsored by:
Look at that shiny ass website. You know it's good. pfister. That's funny as hell. Who ever made up that name is probably still laughing his balls off. I say that cuz a girl would never think that shit up. Girls don't make jokes about fisting. Only guys do.

Alright, lets cross the pond for a little applicable humor.

Are you afraid?

2010-03-10T19:39:00.003-09:00

Of a random wednesday night post.

Well, I have decided that my friends are funnier. They are a bunch of clowns, every fuckin' one of them. Clowns.

I'm a clown as well. We are all like a slapstick style clown, mixed with a lost in a strange place all the time clown. The multitude of completely different instances where someone I hang out with finds themselves, is either somewhere that is either insane, or weird as hell. The commentary that rings through, even the expressions, are just funny as hell. The coping mechanisms these people have are so foreign to one another, that it's almost hard to keep up with.

There always seems to be a hierarchy within any group, but it does not seem like that with us. We are all just riding the ride and enjoying the company... and we all think it's funny as shit.

I also believe that capitalizing the names of the weekdays and months to be absurd. It is not the beginning of a sentence, nor a title of some sort. It references a measurement; as in the case of mm, cm, ft, kilo, and ounce. Why then is distance, weight, etc. not as important as time? There are too many rules to keep up with, and who are these people telling me what to do?

Green is the new black

2010-03-09T20:27:00.006-09:00

We did it because it was cheaper in the end... and safer.

The interior build is complete! We are working very hard to be the most green/environmentally conscious bicycle shop we can. A vast majority of what we used for the build out was either partly or totally recycled and/or was left over from projects and saved from going into a landfill -all the paint used was left over from projects and was doomed to dry up and be tossed in the trash.

We disconnected the energy sucking and slightly scary as hell fluorescent tube lights and installed compact fluorescents that will use a lot less energy, will last longer, and just fill the room with better light.

The old man used to own a communications company, you know, back when computers and phones could be fixed. He salvaged an old computer that he rebuilt to be our point of sale/cash register, donated a phone system that was going to be trashed when it was replaced, and hooked us up with a wifi router and DSL modem that were to meet the same end.

Sometimes it pays to be a pack-rat.

Now, green may be cool, but a 1000watt 6 speaker home theater system and a 42" plasma TV are pretty freakin' sweet. So while I stick my nose in the air for being earth conscious, feel free to smack it with a newspaper for being hypocritical... cuz I picked those items up this week... then I took them back.

The store I purchased them at didn't want to help me out when the stuff wouldn't work, even after I purchased the $180 service plan. So I packed the stuff up and Dug hauled my car-less ass (along with all the electronics) to the store that uses alliteration in the name, think yellow tag. BUT, after I got home to the wife, I took her car and went to H.H. Gregg at 100 Oaks. I left happy. I rarely leave a retail store happy. There, endorsement. Earned my hypothetical discount. Time to move on.

-I miss this.
-That was a couple years ago at Chickasaw riding with The J.

-That's what the start of my ride to work on the greenway looks like in the summer.

-Chilhowee Mt.

I can't wait... I really miss green. Happy humpday, the end of brown is nigh...

the end is nigh

2010-03-07T18:25:00.007-09:00

The weekend is coming to a close and the Russians are flying Vodka into the States to replenish last nights fight against sobriety. A friend got herself hitched and there was an open bar. Open enough that before it was open I talked one of the hostess-es-es to take me through the back to make my own drink. Maybe not the best idea, but I never skipped a beat and missed just a few minutes of the evening without a drink of my choice in my hand.

With the reception just a few blocks from the house, we kicked it hard knowing we could easily walk home if it was needed. for some, well... it was. The couple from out of town that stayed with us had their own fun. Puked in the bed, on the toilet, on the floor... and I slept through the whole thing. Got up this morning with no idea, other than questioning why there were three toilet paper tubes on top of the toilet, and a halfer on the roll. The wife was slightly agitated and no one wanted eggs.

Hangover crushing Country Kick-Ass Bob Evan's Break-Fast with the wife's parents and we were off to zip around town running here and there to collect things that can not be collected by bicycle... like a ...(damn, gatta keep that one quiet) for the shop. It is going to be soooo damn cool when people walk in and see the (damnit!)!!!

So since I can't tell you about what we got, let's plug our buddy Stevil's stuff.

Get one here.

The only thing cooler will be our shop jersey, but those are currently limited and not ready yet. While you are ordering your jersey, be sure to pick up one of these.

Yeah, gatta have that sticker.

Well, enough plugging for others. Once we get the shop open, don't waste your time ordering other people's crap, buy ours.

With that said, and as usual, let's close with a little lift me up.

...and the weekend comes like a flood.

2010-03-04T19:03:00.002-09:00

First and foremost, heed this warning.

Thule T2 Bike Rack malfunctions on interstate causing injuries and destroyed mountain bike from Angie Hyndman.

Yup, safety is #1.

Well, we have reached that point where waiting on things to "go through" has come. Bike companies, whole sale companies, etc... just need to get the paperwork from the state (the anticipation is killing me) and we will be ready to go. The shop build out is finished 100%. Next is to make an entrance. Got a buddy working on some concrete steps, then we can move forward. Shouldn't be too hard, as long as the steps work (chewing fingernails).

As of right now, I am riding my bike to and from the shop. That's all the riding I have been able to get in. If I were to head to Snake Creek Gap tomorrow, I question if I could even finish the damn thing.

Other than that, just another boring day in the life of opening a bike shop...waiting...

Have a good weekend. ...and if you are going to Snake, enjoy that first climb, it will be the easiest. I promise.

How come...

2010-03-02T20:05:00.002-09:00

...Pat has had nothing to say about the earthquake in Chile? eh, whatever. He's a douche either way.

Been workin' hard at the shop.

Yeah, just about to start working on a new 12pack. If anyone wants to come and help... and bring beer... I'll take it. I'm half tempted to build an Iron Maiden stage set for the shop. Why the hell not? Would that not be cool as shit? The part time help we are hiring is 6'9", he could totally play Eddie.

Who the hell has a 14 foot monster come out and dance in the middle of their show?! AND pulls out it's brain and kills it!!!? Rock is dead. Yeah, we will definitely be jammin' to some Maiden at the shop. My shop, my rules. I might even buy Live After Death and rent a projector one night. Yeah, 1984 people. I was rockin' my balls off to this, Judas Priest, Ozzy when he was high (he was better when he was high), and learning about some band called Metallica that didn't suck then either.

My rockin' pinnacled around 1989: The Metal Years. I had been playing drums in a metal band in high school. I would come home from school, put a tape of Megadeth or Testament in the player, put on headphones, and play every note/beat/lick on every song. I had really long hair, leather jacket, and all black. I was pissed off and living the high school rock and roller's dream.

Then, a couple years later, I got my first full time job a Pizza Hut. That was then end. Still had the long hair, but with added responsibility. The responsibility part screwed it all up. I eventually cut it all off to a buzz now. I cycled through two careers, and now here I sit. Opening a bike shop. Who-da-thunk-it?

Life is pretty crazy, but I still love me some 80's metal bands.

Chuck Billy, the singer... he's 48. Yeah, 48, and doing that. If you are 28 or younger, he could easily be you dad. What the hell would that be like? What if you were in elementary school? You would kick the shit out of the whole class at "Show and Tell". Just play the video and say, "that's my dad."

You would always win. That would be cool.

another pleasant sunday...

2010-02-28T18:34:00.005-09:00

...closed the door behind me at the shop before 6pm.

The last four days we've walked out between 11:00pm and midnight, most of which started around 10:00am or so for me. We got everything finished that needed to be done minus waiting on a little glue to dry before we finish putting up a couple pieces of trim.

Tomorrow I'll be painting and meeting with Glen, a sales rep from the Hawley Company. I plan to order tools and staple merch to get things started then work to build the inventory based on what people want once we open up. (spoiler for part of my shop M.O.) Just never thought it was a good idea to just order a bunch of stuff and have some huge selection of things I think are cool, as apposed to what my customers ask for. My plan on bikes is to order a few staple models from (undisclosed bicycle companies that are really kick-ass, you know who you are) to have on hand for day one, so that can wait just a little longer.

Been keeping a tally on the number of beers consumed since we started, and right now I just don't want to let that cat out of the bag. Might be a bit much considering it's been just Dug and I for a majority of it. Don't get me wrong, Ron and Derf can throw down, but together they only make up about 7 or 8 hours total. I think between Dug and I, we have to have 50 or 60 hours in this thing... and many more to come.

I've only been on the bike a couple times in the last week, and I can tell. I need some sun, BAD. The plan is to ride into the wife's office in the morning to get her car (she gets up and heads to work long before I even get out of bed). I have a few things to do that require a little more speed and hauling ability than the 240 cubic inches the basket on my bag swallows, mainly a sound system for the shop. I don't need it right now, but the only thing I have is this:

...and the CD player doesn't work at all. I found one cassette tape and Dug brought a few, but access to the 8 Gigs of tunes on the ipod is sorely missed. Don't get me wrong, it was rough not having anything until I found this thing in the bottom of a closet with no power cord, but making the cord out of another cord was kinda fun... and probably a little dangerous.

Alright kids, happy Monday! If you see me driving tomorrow, don't screw with me, I get really nervous.

Howdy!

2010-02-26T05:12:00.002-09:00

Welcome to post number 600. Yes, 600 times I have sat down and pecked at the keys of a keyboard so a handful of people could see what the hell I'm doing. I guess it's interesting enough, cuz it seems I got some followers, some hits, and some great comments.

Unfortunately, building out a shop while setting up a shop in order to open a shop takes most all of my waking hours - which have become quite a few... waking hours that is. This leaves not much time for silly fun and drunken escapades to take hold of my usual vast expanses of free time, and leaves me with not much to write about. (though we were drinking beer and using power tools last night)

Once April comes and I can get into a "routine" - yeah, routine... what the hell, I'm sure there will be more going on. So keep coming back to read about how tired I am and that all there is to do is work on building a place to work. Maybe if we're lucky, something funny as shit will happen. ..and I feel like it's just a matter of time.

blank

2010-02-23T19:26:00.002-09:00

Ladies and gentlemen, the last week and a half caught up to me yesterday. I passed out on the sofa around 8:30pm, only to wake up and head off to bed for 10 hours of hard core slumber. Mix that with 4 hours of drawing schematics and blueprints for the build out of the shop and 6+ hours of pulling wire and running electric today, and my ass is kicked.

Though pleased to actually have physically worked on the shop and made solid progress, I am blank. Got nothing to really write about.

... so I think I'll just nestle up with a Gin and Tonic, lay back and chill...

Weekend in review

2010-02-21T19:07:00.002-09:00

Maybe we'll do this one back-ards...

Here is a shot of the shop before we started working on it. I just posted it up on the shop's Facebook page. As we get more done, we'll post updates. The goal is electrical and structures this week. Soon... we will paint.

This morning I rolled out from home around 10am to meet Crazy Johnny and Co. for a fun day riding bikes without 47 layers of clothes. The weather finally broke and we had sun and 60's today. I needed to get out of the house and not think about the shop for a few hours, my nrain has been getting mushy and I'm on the verge of overwhelmed, so a short break was the ticket. (after I type this post there is more website stuff to do as well as budget...)

As soon as I started to roll off the greenway, Ron is rolling toward me. So we decided to ride to the meet-up together. Once there it was hello's and howdy's to all the people I knew, and greeting to those I didn't. I found myself flooded with questions about the shop that I can't answer, then the ride started and the greater part of the day began.

Over hill and dale for a few hours and we found ourselves at a bar enjoying cold beers. Perfect. Thanks to everyone that came out to ride, it was a blast.

Saturday morning I got me some volunteer work in at the Ride for Reading building doing something I am very, very good at: tearing shit apart. I helped do demolition to get it ready for the rest of the build out. Four hours of that and I was off to interview a kid that wants to work for us (that's all I can say). Then I spent most of the rest of the day in the wife's car driving places to do things.

I HATE driving. Hate it. It is a necessary thing at times and I understand that, but it still sucks.

So as not to end on a sour note, Hollywood - which is running out of ideas - decided to bring back the old classic Clash of the Titans. I personally found the original to be spectacular.

Yeah, with todays special effects and CGI, I feel like that movie would be on vinyl. I almost like the organic stop motion more than computer fakery. Just seems more fake/real. Then again, the trailer set to different music works quite well too...

You guys have a good monday, I know I will.

Yeah

2010-02-18T18:43:00.003-09:00

The last couple days have been crazy. My plan was to turn in my two week notice, work for two weeks, then start all the shop stuff. By then, the attorney would have the LLC paperwork completed, we would have business license, bank account, etc. All I would have to do is walk out of work next friday (a week form tomorrow), take the weekend off, then start full steam building out the new shop.

Well, things NEVER work out as planned.

The boss at the old shop wished me well, told me he hopes I succeed, shook my hand, and said go ahead and go. He followed it with saying he knows I have a lot to do, business is down with the weather, and due to the conflict of interest, it just makes sense. I agreed, thanked him, and left.

The building I am renting still has stuff stored in it. Mind you, this is fine. I didn't expect to even begin working on it until March 1st. No problem, still a week ahead. But my plan was to pass the time waiting on the attorney, bank, tax lady, etc, by working. Don't get me wrong, I am getting a ton of stuff done. I am just dying to start building things.

(plug number 2)
Nashville Bicycle Lounge
I'll have a image before we begin the build out next week for you guys. But for now, enjoy this one.

(I miss riding my bike in places like this)

Just got home for a SORBA meeting. It's been a while, a long while. Years ago I did tons of mtb advocacy, bike/ped work, Safe Routes to School classes, and trail work. I haven't done anything like that in years. It feels so good to know that I can get back into the game not only by working with the organizations, but helping them through my own shop. It's like a whole new level. If you have never given back by volunteering for trail work or any other type of bicycle advocacy, you should. There is nothing better than ripping through a section of trail that you built. When you hit it, there is a feeling of great accomplishment that is well beyond anything else.

I have to say, reading All Hail the Black Market the other day got me pumped just a little bit more. This is going to be fun.

Well, have a great weekend. If you live in my neck of the woods, it is going to be beautiful riding weather tomorrow. I need to take advantage of these while I can.

it begins.

2010-02-16T07:03:00.005-09:00

Yesterday was the last day I worked for the man. Today I am unemployed... on purpose.

After four years of trying and planning, it has finally happened. I am opening a bike shop in East Nashville. The Nashville Bicycle Lounge.

If you couldn't tell, I was having a hard time writing posts. All I wanted to talk about was the shop, but things weren't finalized until yesterday morning.

So there you go. If you are on Facebook, you can become a fan by simply searching for it (I am having a hard time getting a link to work right now, thank God facebook is sooo user friendly). We will document the buildout on facebook, so you can follow along.

Well, there you go. I am off to begin this thing. We have 7 weeks to go, and the countdown clock sounds like well timed explosions in my head.

...here we go...

Happy VD! (well, yesterday)

2010-02-14T08:06:00.004-09:00

Before we get started, I need to warn you, there will probably be a youtube video of me dropping my pants surfacing at some point. I will apologize now. I am truly sorry. The video will come from the second party we attended saturday night, as the first one was a little more black-tie-esq (meaning no one was doing shots or putting pickles in bloody mary's to screw with others... and there was absolutely no chance for nudity).

For the second time this year, I got to hang out with old friends from the REI days. There are still a couple that I get along with, though my progressive steps away from corporate style structured jobs have made me less and less tolerant of corporate style structured people. Rules are made to be questioned, bent and reformed in well thought out guidelines, not solidified as concrete regulations to be enforced blindly. When people build their lives on a corporate style, they just can not grow and become stuck within their self-built walls.

So yeah, the wife tied one on. When I was driving us home, going the speed limit, we would crest a hill and she would throw her hands in the air and yell as if she was on a roller coaster. There was no expectation of quick recovery any time before 3:00pm.

Other than sunday's shopping trip for the wife, dinner with unemployed Derf and Lib, and some Olympics, the weekend was pretty low key.

Happy monday people, I feel a change in the air...

Finally.

2010-02-11T17:59:00.002-09:00

I got to ride for a few hours today. I did the Viv ride after running errands on the bike for about two hours. It was awesome. Well, a little cold, but awesome.

On the way back from picking up Viv, I couldn't stop thinking about how cool it would be to grow up like she is. There were four of us, including Sharp (Viv's dad), and while he kept a solid a safe pace with his daughter in a trailer, Done and Danny D were riding wheelies and jumping right in front of her. Her ride home from school was not in the back seat of a car with a DVD player keeping her occupied so she wouldn't distract the driver, it was through the city being pulled by a bicycle, with other people riding along.

What will be really cool is when she is riding to and from school on her own bike.

...and I'm gunna leave you knowing there is a child out there being raised on a bicycle and that not all hope is lost.

Have a great weekend.

Campy and God

2010-02-09T18:55:00.005-09:00

I am working on a project in which I had to take some low rez pics. They didn't need to be 10,000megapixels with Technicolor clarity, just simple shots to get manipulated terrifically, so color didn't even matter. Out of all the shots, roughly 50, this one just jumped out at me.

I did shoot nine vintage Campy pieces, and the quick release looks pretty sweet, but the headset is all but perfect, and completely on accident. Yeah, I'm a total geek. When I set it up on the backdrop, I didn't even notice the way the top race sat compared to the bottom. I had never noticed the "Campagnolo" engraved on the top cup where it presses into the frame. That is literally the press fit part. How pimp is that!? It's like they are rubbing how bad-ass they are right in your face!

It was shot with my wife's point and shoot digital camera she got for $100, on top of a piece of white poster board, under the light in my shop at home. That's PRO-fessional!

In other news, I saw on CNN today some dude was pulled out from the rubble in Haiti...today. Like, today he saw sunlight for the first time in 27 days. Check this shit out.

Port-au-Prince, Haiti (CNN) -- A man pulled alive from the rubble of a building in Haiti's capital Monday may have been trapped since the January 12 quake that leveled much of the city, doctors reported.

Story here.

How about that shit!? I could do nothing but think back to what our good friend Pat said:

Packed with the Devil? Really? ...and you're optimistic about that? Really? I think when the dude gets healthy enough, he should get to punch you in the face Pat. He should get to stick his wrapped hands in gasoline mixed with salt and broken glass then punch you in the face until he is too tired to do it one more time. Then he gets dinner, a nice one. Hot.

You wanna know what I think? (probably not) I think the dude under the rubble FOR A MONTH has spent a little more time with God that you Pat. Just saying...

Alright, some bling and some celebration for Mr. Muncie. Talk about a second chance. Well, he had one hell of a way to start the hump day. Bet he feels pretty good about that.

Time to clean up.

2010-02-07T18:42:00.003-09:00

The last week found me celebrating my birthday from monday when unemployed Derf came by the shop with a 6pack to begin the middle aged test of liver strength, and continued everyday including tonight, which we will touch on later.

Rest assured, my middle aged liver is kicking like a mule. The last seven days have been like just graduated high school days more than mortgage, insurance, high winter electric bill, gatta change a light bulb - old guy days. I found or began my own party every night, usually after unemployed Derf would start me off at noon-thirty with high octane beer from the liquor store. Yeah, thursday night was the tip of the iceburg.

Friday night... I can't even remember friday night. Shit.

Saturday Anj hosted a small chills and thrills while I sucked on gin and tonic and co arsed people into playing Twister, which I must say... I was quite successful. ...and to finish it off, I hung with a few buddies and watched the New Orleans Saints win their first Superbowl.

I am not a football fan, but knowing they had never even gotten close, ever, in the history of football, watching them win was pretty cool. I seriously wonder about New Orleans. Does the Saints winning the Superbowl create a scenario where the people will find common ground and begin to rebuild their local government? I had mentioned this a few weeks back when they won the game that got them to the Superbowl, so I am anxious to see if it does anything. Kind of a psychological way of coming together.

Either way, I love me some New Orleans and I am glad they won.

(photo cred - yeah, from a British paper no less)

I would love to be on Bourbon Street right now. THAT would be the way to finish this week off.

Yeah well, Happy monday you lemmings pounding at keyboards in cubicles. Congratulations liver, we've done it again.

just because...

2010-02-04T19:54:00.003-09:00

...it seemed right.

Thanks to everyone that celebrated my birthday either with me, or in spirit.

Raise your glass to all that wake up to live another day, then grab that day by the throat and have your way with it.

today...

2010-02-03T04:40:00.001-09:00

..is my birthday.

Yeah! In your face death!

we came, we saw, we kicked it's ass!

2010-01-31T19:13:00.005-09:00

Well, we sledded-ed like rock stars. The impending doom of snow brought perfect icy conditions for some fast sledding. I live on the top of a hill, with a nice steep road on one end. This road was a sheet of ice.
(tyvek suits are the best winter gear ever invented-ironing board sled in hand)

Friday night, MOS, Barry and Brandy and myself (plus a couple yung-ins) jumped aboard some homemade sleds for some night time slipperyness. This continually got better and better with the addition of beer. MOS fashioned a sled out of an ironing board, and Barry brought a giant plastic liner thing. Both worked well, but we needed more.

In a simple attempt to trump it, saturday afternoon Done and girl, Dug, Amy, Josh, Sarah, and Bryan joined in, along with more beer. Saturday was all ice. It was also Josh's first time sledding, ever. He is from Florida. No snow, no hills, no fun. In Josh's wisdom he made the greatest guess ever and brought along a longboard deck. It was the fastest thing I had ever ridden. I had build a sled out of a sheet of plywood, some crown molding for runners, and wrapped the bottom with tin flashing. It was faster than hell, until it broke. The londboard deck never did. At one point, Sarah and I both squeezed onto the deck and ripped down the icy slope taking the blue ribbon for stupidity.

Once the we had our fill of sledding, it was time to prepare for the wife and my annual Mardi Gras Party. This would be number three. With the snow and ice we still had about twenty people show up, eat, drink and act a fool. As much as I would love to show the pics, well, they ain't good for everyone's health and career, so sorry. With less than a third of the typical turnout due to weather, we still rocked it out like rockstars and finished the night around 3am. Needless to say, we spent almost all day recovering at home.

In a complete change of subject, Dug sent this one in.
-Skinny jean jackassery:

Dig.

impending doom

2010-01-28T19:02:00.004-09:00

Almost looks like a big mouth getting ready to eat Nashvegas.

Tomorrow morning, the streets of the Music city will be littered yet again with car-cusses. Insurance rates will rise, and the Kia dealer will smile while sipping coffee in his jammies knowing yet another shmuck with a job and $149 is on the way to help put his kids through college. (make sure to click the link, it seems that everyday is the Forth of July when purchasing a car. nothing more Amurikan)

Nashville does not have the equipment, training or appearent desire to obtain such things, to deal with freezing rain and snow. We get this every year. Would you not agree that a little preventative measures beyond hosing down the main streets with beet juice would cost less than a bunch of car wrecks? Really? (beet juice link. yes, it's real)

A buddy of mine already asked where the best place to watch wrecks can be found. This is the place. You can see three main bridges across the Cumberland river, all gaining elevation on what could be a sheet of ice, as they reach downtown. Probably a great place for insurance adjusters to have their morning coffee.

Alright, nuff. If you live anywhere that might be nasty, drive careful. Or better yet, take a sick day. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than wrecking your car. I'll be sitting at work like wet ashes, cuz no one thinks about bicycles when it snows in Nashvegas.

Please, have a seat.

2010-01-26T19:27:00.003-09:00

I decided to watch the evening news, because I wanted a laugh. You know what I found, the commercials are insane. They are all to promote a sedentary lifestyle. You are being told to either:

buy something that you use sitting down
sit down and eat
buy a car so you can sit when you go somewhere
buy something to sit down on.

Well, there was one more, something to use while you are sitting down on the throne...

Laxatives.

You are telling me that a laxative company is so confident they will be needed on a grand scale, that they will pay the bucks to get to the masses at primetime? Are you telling me that people are spending so much time sitting down... that they have fucked up their metabolism to the point they can't take a shit!? You feel that good about your gamble there laxative company? Damn! Can I get some Vegas odds on this please? I live in the 4th most obese (politically correct) state in the U.S., this would be a better decision. I would like to buy stock in laxativs if this is the next evolutionary step in the broadening of America.

Maybe this is proof of evolution. What if the next phase of man is some lard-ass consumer of all things edible and all things sit-able? Our current state of plumpness followed a leaner time of man (still wanna forget about the white powder wigs - and you wonder why aliens won't visit our planet. would you want to visit a land full of coked up, wig wearing, powder puffing fools?)

I digress.

Before we were what we are now, we lived from the land as nomads and were lean and fit enough to run a deer to death. You think that dude in the next cubicle over could even run a small turtle to death, never mind a fucking deer? That dude has been shoveling Burger King down his pie hole for the last 15 years of his miserable life. He's 42 and he is bald. Dude is dead and he doesn't even know it, because he sits. Always.

How lazy are we as a people?

(photo cred managed care magazine)

Notice it stopped in 2000. Yeah, I bet it looks like a quarter-pipe now, with a couple feet of vert. How many people a year die from something caused by obesity? Heart Desease is the #1 Grim Reaper bringer.

"Prevention is key, the experts agree, and Americans know what to do: Eat a healthy diet, keep their weight in check, exercise and don't smoke. But instead, obesity and diabetes rates continue to rise. Roughly two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. And the epidemic is spreading to teenagers and children."

Two-fucking-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Do you see a connection...? How about kids that choose to go outside, play - i.e. exercise, and stay fit and healthy?

Isn't it ironic that the cop has a big beer gut, drives that stupid little fucking car and hates kids who skate? Would it not lower taxes on the people of Baltimore if he rode a bicycle or walked his beat? He would be healthier, which would lower the amount of sick days he takes (taxes pay him when he is not working), as well as his insurance premiums (that taxes pays for). He would probably have a better attitude as well. But he is just a fat bully telling these kids they can't have fun.

...just like the TV commercials.

Happy wednesday.

another weak end...

2010-01-24T18:27:00.003-09:00

to the end of a week.

Nothing this weekend. I got some things going on and could not make the last Cross the way Cyclocross race. This is a bummer, as I typically really look forward to hanging out and racing with all my local friends. The local 'cross races are the only local races I do. Not one for regular cross country races, and definitely not the kinda guy that would line up for a road race. In fact, I haven't had a road bike in quite a few years. So a bit of a bummer on that front.

Backing up, thursday was awesome. I rolled out and the seat post on my bike failed less than a mile from the house. No problem, I have extra parts. I head out again. It starts to rain hard about a mile from the house... even though there was nothing on the local radar. So back home to grab rain gear. Finally getting more than 5280 feet from the house, I really enjoy the tailwind ride to the other side of town to grab my new spectacles. Nothing like new specs. If you don't wear glasses or contacts, imagine looking through dirty glass for a couple years, then getting nice new clear. Yup, real nice.

Next it was a stop to get a time check on the Viv ride, cuz I'm Vivstrong. 35 minutes. Just enough time to eat some of some one else's food and get ready for a couple hours and some steep climbs on the high-geared single speed.

Back to the house feeling like a million bucks, I chilled with the wife for a bit then headed out to pick up Derf and go to the taproom. I had not been to Yazoo in months, but the welcome I got when I walked in could not have been better. A friend from out of town who used to work there just happened to be passing through, and Dug, Done and Co. filled in the rest. Pizza Perfect was perfect and the night finished at the WestLAB for the best Extra Stout for hundreds of miles. Damn T-roy, you brew some kick-ass beers.

Back home in time to pass out and get ready for the next day.

So the weekend wasn't so great, but at least it was offset quite well.

Happy monday fools, enjoy the beginning of the rest of the week.

(ok, more... two hours later)

I am not a fan of football. But. I heard this: "a few years ago they were using that thing as a shelter, not they are going to the Superbowl."

The wife and I have been heading to New Orleans for the last ten years for Halloween. The year before Katrina, it was a huge party. The year after, very desperate and small. This last year was a pretty good one, but the idea that the New Orleans Saints will be playing in the Superbowl fir the first time, EVER, just might start to give those people something to unite behind.

I'm not saying football is a savior by any means. The point is that it does not matter what it takes to unite a community, city or country, as long as the end result is for the good of the people. If a simple football game is the catalyst that unites the city of New Orleans, turning it into a wonderful city with the corruption ousted by a united people who all work together, I'll start watching fuckin' football. Promise.

don't worry, it's coming...

2010-01-22T05:02:00.002-09:00

Long day on the bike yesterday, a taproom visit, and extra stout at T-roy's pub to finish out the night. It's morning and I need to get ready for work, so look for the update later.

Meanwhile, enjoy this oldie but a goodie

uh... quick question.

2010-01-19T17:36:00.005-09:00

I heard Glenn Danzig was offered the part of Wolverine first. He turned it down and Hugh Jackman got it. I just want to make sure this is clear before I move on, and I guess this week will be full of "Are you kidding me?".

First reference, which will be our control subject. One of the panels from the first Wolverine Comic.
...and then, Glenn Danzig
Now, Mr. Jackman.
...and this guy, from Flock of Seagulls
Really, who the hell made this decision? Now that you see this, kinda makes ol' Jackman look like this guy
So, just wanted to make sure everyone knew. Not that it matters at all, I just find it really funny. ...and since monday not much has happened around these parts. ...at least nothing funny enough to to remember enough to write about.

That last pic makes me wanna hear "Have a Cigar". Here we go.

really, are you kidding me?

2010-01-17T18:30:00.004-09:00

While on the browse for vintage cycling posters on the wonderful world of internet, I came upon this: Retro to go. A guide to all things hip and retro

Now, they had a pic of a great ol' Campy jersey that is beautiful. But the question is, do you like it because you think it makes you look like you are a long-time seasoned cyclist but your not, or because you had one when you were a child and now you are old enough to have the money to buy it knowing it is a good product and is personally nostalgic? It's killing me. All this "Retro" shit.

I was wearing a pair of black Vans Originals earlier this year, and this kid looked at me and said, "Nice shoes. They are so old school, that's cool." Old school. OLD SCHOOL!? I have been wearing these since they replaced my Converse Chucks in the 80's. How can I be old school when I never stopped wearing them? I'm boring and stagnant if anything. Really, when did I start having fashion? Just last week this other person said they liked my look. My look? Lemmie fill you in:

Work boots, gatta have good shoes cuz I work on my feet all day.
Jeans. Duh.
T-shirt under a Dickies work shirt. Yes, I work in a shop and wear the same Dickies shirt all week to keep my clothes clean from grease - with a t-shirt under it. Everyday.
Cap. It was cold so I covered my head

Kinda like these 1920's foundry workers.

What the hell fashion is this? What kind of "look" even. So you are telling me that a 36 year old, bathes randomly, shaves hardly ever, stopped cutting his hair, bike mechanic who wears the same clothes -everyday- and in fact has for the last 20 years is fashion conscious? Really? What the hell?

Fashion aside, it was a good weekend. Thanks to Derf and Lib for haulin' my ass to the Boombox show. If you missed it, your loss. Also got me a relax-o-ride in today and helped a buddy out who needed one last part to finish his new bike. So speaking of "retro", how about a little Suicidal?

"You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating Fruit Loops on your front porch" Awesome. Did you see the tall socks and shorts? Yup, betcha that's next. You heard it here first.

food, beer and doctors

2010-01-14T18:47:00.002-09:00

Wednesday night was the regularly scheduled pot-luck dinner on the east side for those who live on the east side. Yeah, kinda discriminatory, but we can do what we want. There was much food, much beer, many libations, and one hell of a hangover to prove it.

Typically a hangover is no big deal, especially when I have the next day off. A quick drink in the morning and I am good to go.

BUT... my day off included driving the wife to work at 8:00am(we share a car), then heading to the dentist for a cleaning and check-up. The good news first, my teeth are in great shape. No problems at all, other than I need to floss more. However, going to the dentist to have a wonderful dental hygienist with a very bright light, use a stainless steel tool with a barbed scraper on the end to chip and stab at the plaque on your teeth, with a hang over, is NOT a good way to start the morning. It was not the most fun thing to do first thing in the morning.

Back home I ate half a pizza simply because I did not eat any breakfast (yet another bad idea). I finished cleaning up the house from the party and then headed to the eye doctor. Remember, I'm driving my wife's car that we share that is her car...and the only car we own, and I need some hair of the dog. Bad. I pass because the pain was better while driving than sitting in a police car. I was taking a good look at the days already great decisions for inspiration.

At the eye doc's joint, I find there are a plethora or new tests for your eyes. They all use very bright light. VERY BRIGHT LIGHT. It was tremendous. I think there were more than six machines that fired lazers into your eyes and burned brain cells, along with the back of my skull and retina, in order to take the necessary measurements for new glasses... with the same prescription I have had for the last 6 years. Awesome.

Dropped the car off with the wife, pulled my bike out of the trunk, and rolled to meet up with the boys on the Viv ride. The day ended just as it started, but my headache had been taken care off thanks to hair of the dog just a little later than it was really needed.

So I got healthy eyes, teeth, and brain. I'll be turning 37 next month, so three more years and my January trips to the doc for check-ups will include this.

..I will not be hung over for that. Bet on it.

Hey Bryan, Aren't you turning 40 this year?

I hope I am this cool when I grow old

2010-01-12T18:09:00.004-09:00

-Embedding was disabled, so click the link. (link)

Thanks to Dug for sending this one in.

Guess what showed up?

2010-01-11T18:15:00.004-09:00

Anj.

Me. I love how the wide angle lens makes my legs all stubby looking, kinda like Cotton Hill. "The Nahzeez's shot ma shins off at the 'cross race!"

well...

2010-01-10T19:56:00.003-09:00

I woulda had some cool pics from the ride today, but (someone) didn't get them emailed/posted/whatever.

That means no kick-ass snowy/muddy/breaking in (his/her) new 'cross bike the right way type pictures of (someone) and me on the ride this afternoon. It was that awesome. Fast, fun and two wheel slides. Big racing stripe of mud from my ass to my head, and slug up on the bottom bracket in a ever growing pile. Ice patches frozen enough to ride with the occasional tiny snow ball made from the space between the lugs of the front tire whizzing by. (His/Her) brand new 'cross bike's very first ride was in REAL cyclocross conditions. It looked awesome. The first time those tires rolled on this earth, it was through mud and snow. We even finished with a steep road climb back up to the house that you have to attack with all you have to make it. (nope, no pic of that either-we didn't take one, but you wouldn't know either way now would you)

That would have been a good segway into the nice lunch with the wife watching Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Which of course was followed by Guinness with Crazy Johnny at a local bar. See, it just doesn't work without the photos, does it.

Damn, if only I could write the thousand words that describe a picture!

So, no montage. No post worth anything. Just a waste of time. So Sorry. Hope you had a great weekend.

wow

2010-01-08T20:37:00.003-09:00

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

How to make half a million people scared...

2010-01-07T19:14:00.007-09:00

...add snow.

Yup, we finally got a little snow in Nashvegas, and it was quite fun. I met up with Bryan on the greenway around 2:00 for an afternoon ride. We rolled down the greenway and around East Nash enjoying the white blanket covering the streets, though grass was still poking up like little meerkats through it. It wasn't that deep.

I wanted to run by the shop to grab some toe warmers, cuz my tootsies were getting a bit chilly. I swear by those things. When we left the shop, we decided to roll the Viv ride route to see if we could meet up with the boys, who were doing the Viv ride.

Just as we headed out of East Nash, there they came, hammering up Woodland toward 5 Points. Shortly after picking up a twelve pack, we headed to Sharp's for a beer or three and a little chill.

When the sun started going down, I figured it was time to get on my way home. I had no lights, but it is less than a mile to the greenway making me feel safe. Pedaling up the first hill, the rear wheel slipping now and again, I knew it was going to be slick, and I needed to get off the roads as soon as possible. I headed through a neighborhood that has a random entrance to the greenway, no parking, but a way in without bush-wacking. With a chillin the air, I felt the danger of people wrecking cars left and right... I was not disappointed.

As soon as I started down the hill, I saw a car coming out of a driveway. I thought to myself this person must be nuts, as I was already starting to slide a bit. Luck would have it a car a third of the way down the hill had slid off the road wiping out a sign, and into a ditch. When the driver (who obviously did not look to see if anyone was coming up behind him) kicked it in reverse to try and get out, I stupidly grabbed the brakes, locking the front and rear wheels and sending me down on my right side with a mighty slap. The ice on top of the pavement was as soft as a concrete wall with inch thick plate steel on it. Needless to say, it hurt. Even picked up road rash through arm warmers and a long-sleeve jersey that will kinda match my swollen and soon to be discolored right hip.

I picked up my bike, abandoned the attempt, and walked back up to the top of the hill. Before reaching the summit, I passed a cross street where a lady was getting ready to head down the hill I just wrecked on. I stopped her, asked her where she lived, and upon hearing she lived at the bottom of the hill, I talked her into parking her car and walking. She was scared to death. She made a very good decision.

Back on the bike I rode through as much grass as I could, as it was the only place to get any type of traction. My beeline to the park and the greenway was slow and steady, much like the ride through the trails. Typically you go so fast you tend to slide out in the corners, even when it is dry. The snow covered leaves crushed under my tires swallowing them like sand keeping me out of the saddle and grinding for at least half the ride. It took me just over an hour to get home, on a path that typically takes less than 20 minutes. I was so happy to ride the mountain bike. I think if I was on my 'cross bike (which I initially intended to ride) it would have been bloodier.

Back at home and blugging, I wonder what the ride to work tomorrow will be like...

a little inspiration

2010-01-05T19:02:00.001-09:00

"you die at the end, did anyone tell yeah!?"